PATOU [_More and more disgusted._] All that is supposed to be funny! THE GUINEA-HEN [_Pecking a cabbage leaf from which roll drops of dew._] I have the Dew! PATOU [_Grimly._] Your witticism for her? THE BLACKBIRD [_Brightly._] Fresh-water pearls! THE GUINEA-HEN [_Pointing out several_ CHICKS _walking among the crowd._] Have you seen them? I have several of the A.I.’s Chicks! THE PHEASANT-HEN A.I.? THE GUINEA-HEN The Acme Incubator. THE PHEASANT-HEN Oh, have you? THE GUINEA-HEN [_Presenting the_ CHICKS.] All from the topmost compartment! THE PHEASANT-HEN Indeed? ONE OF THE CHICKS [_Nudging his neighbour._] She is dumbfounded! THE GUINEA-HEN [_Contemptuously._] Eggs hatched by the old vulgar method, fie! THE BLACKBIRD, Good Lord, exempt us! THE MAGPIE [_Announcing._] The Guinea-pig! THE GUINEA-HEN It’s the famous one, you know! The Guinea-pig who was inoculated--surely you remember the case--very well, that’s the one! There you see him. I made a point of getting him to come. Everybody is here! I have everybody! I have--[_To the_ GUINEA-PIG.] How do you do? [_To the_ PHEASANT-HEN.] I have our great philosopher Tur-Key--Yes, it should be written with a hyphen--who will give us a little talk among the currant bushes under the tea-roses--[_To a passing_ HEN.] How do you do? [_To the_ PHEASANT-HEN.] Educational Tea or Currant Topics! [_Whirling from one to the other._] Everyone is here, everyone of the slightest mark or consequence! The Pheasant-hen is here, in a frock from fairyland. The Duck is here, who is so good as to say he will recite for us by and by. The Tortoise is here--[_Noticing that the_ TORTOISE _is not there_] I was mistaken, the Tortoise is not here. She is late. THE BLACKBIRD [_Affecting deep concern._] What is the little talk she seems so regrettably likely to miss? THE GUINEA-HEN [_Suddenly serious._] The Moral Problem. THE BLACKBIRD What a pity! [_The_ GUINEA-HEN _goes to the back, scattering greetings, in ecstasies of sociability._] THE PHEASANT-HEN [_To the_ BLACKBIRD.] Who is the Tortoise? THE BLACKBIRD A hard old character, impervious, I fear, to moral problems, who goes in for walking matches in a loud check suit! [_Murmur among the hollyhocks._] THE PHEASANT-HEN Listen, a Drone! THE GUINEA-HEN [_Briskly returning._] The Drone is here! In the bright light overhead, what a stylish figure of a fly! THE BLACKBIRD No “at home” complete without it! Ladies cry for it! Won’t be happy until-- THE GUINEA-HEN [_Jumping up in the air toward the_ DRONE.] How do you do? How do you do? [_She follows his flight with excited leaps and hops._] THE BLACKBIRD [_Touching his brow with his wing._] She is dotty! THE GUINEA-HEN [_At the back, with shrill_ GUINEA-HEN _cries._] It’s my last day! How do you do? My last day until August! Mondays in August, don’t forget! A HEN [_Seeing cherries dropping around her._] Oh, cherries, look! THE PHEASANT-HEN [_Looking upward._] It is the Breeze!