'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"'She's badly in need of a clerk,' said the Doctor, 'and I hope she
gets one. He could look after the pimples as well as I can.'
"Many were getting ready for the ball, but this lady was the only one
I knew of who had spent a hundred dollars for facial improvement.
Harry, however, was about to spend a thousand dollars for the
improvement of his conscience. It was one of the necessary expenses
and it came about in this way:
"The day of the ball had arrived. Harry came to see me about noon. He
said that he had been busy all the morning with preparations for the
ball, but--
"He showed me a telegram. It was from Roger Daniels, and it said:
"'The recent slump in the market has put me in hell's hole. Please
wire one thousand dollars to Bridgeport, where I am hung up. If you
do, I shall give you good collateral and eternal gratitude. If you
don't, we shall have to miss the ball. Please remember that I am
waiting at the other end of the wire like a hungry cat at a
mouse-hole.'
"Harry looked worried. The ball must come off, and, without Roger, it
would be like Hamlet minus the melancholy Dane. It was a special
compliment to Roger.
"'What do you advise me to do?' he asked.
"'Pay it.'
"'It will probably be a dead loss.'
"'Probably, but it's plainly up to you. He's got in trouble keeping
your pace. To tell the honest truth, you're responsible for it, and
the public will charge it to your account. You must pay the bill or
suffer moral bankruptcy.'
"Harry was taken by surprise.
"'But I can pay for _my_ folly,' he said.
"'Yes; but when it becomes another man's folly it's stolen property,
and as much yours as ever. The goods have your mark on 'em, and, by
and by, they're dumped at your door. They may be damaged by dirt and
vermin, but you've got to take 'em.
"'After all, Harry, why should a young man whose education has cost
a hundred thousand dollars, if a cent, be giving up his life to
folly? You're too smart to spend the most of your time looking
beautiful--trying to excite the admiration of women and the envy
of men. That might do in some of the old countries where the
people are as dumb as cattle and are capable only of the emotion of
awe and need professional gentlemen to excite it, and to feed upon
their substance. Here the people have their moments of weakness, but
mostly they are pretty level-headed. They judge men by what they do,
not by what they look like. The professional gentleman is first an
object of curiosity and then an object of scorn. He's not for us.
Young man, I knew your father and your grandfather. I like you and
want you to know that I am speaking kindly, but you ought to go to
work.'
"'Mr. Potter, he said, 'upon my word, sir, I'm going to work one of
these days--at something--I don't know what.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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