'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"Now the Delances were Episcopalians from away back--High-Church
Episcopalians, at that. The old man had sniffed a good deal when Harry
began to pay attention to Marie, and had come to see me about it.
"I eased his fears and appealed to his avarice. Harry had too much
money and some follies, I confessed, but he was sound at heart, and I
had hope of making a strong man of him, and of course his money might
be a great lever in his hands.
"'Very well--we'll keep an eye on him,' he snapped, and left me
without another word.
"After that Marie was allowed to go out with the young man in his drag
and tandem.
"Harry and his sister came to the party at Deacon Joe's, and brought
with them a late volume of D'Annunzio for Marie to read. Harry wished
to know if I had read it, and gave us a talk on the realism of this
modern Italian author.
"Again I drew on the memoirs of Dr. Godfrey Vogeldam Guph, and this
time I explained that the learned doctor had all the talents but one.
He never told a lie--never but once, and that was on his death-bed.
Yes, it was a little late, but still it was in time to save his
reputation, and, possibly, even his soul. To a man of his parts the
truth had always been good enough, and lying unnecessary. If he had
told a lie it wouldn't have amounted to anything--everybody would have
believed it. He wouldn't have got any credit--poor man! He had no more
use for a lie than a fish has for a mackintosh--until he came to his
last touching words, which were delivered to a minister and his sister
Sophia, who had been reading to him from a book of D'Annunzio.
"'My chance has arrived at last,' he said to Sophia, 'and in order
that I may make the most of it, you will please send for a minister.'
"The latter came, and, seeing the book, asked the good man if he had
read it.
"'Alas! my friend, that it should be necessary for me to tell a lie on
my death-bed,' said the Doctor. 'But now, at last, I tell it proudly
and promptly. I have not read that book.'
"'And therein I do clearly see the truth,' said the wise old
minister.
"'Which is this,' the learned Doctor confessed. 'I have come to an
hour when a lie, and nothing but a lie, can show my sense of shame. I
solemnly swear that I have not read it!'
"'Well, at least you're a noble liar,' said the man of God. 'I absolve
you.'
"'I claim no credit--I am only doing my duty,' said the good Doctor,
with a sign of ineffable peace.
"As soon as I could get his attention, I called Harry aside and
whispered: 'In Heaven's name, boy, get hold of that book and hang on
to it.'
"'Why?' he asked.
"'You don't know the old man as I do--that's why,' I said. 'If he
should happen to read it, he'd go after you with his grandfather's
sword the next time you showed up here.'
"Marie stood near us, and I beckoned to her, and she came to my side.
"'The book,' said Harry--'would you let me take it?'
"'I took it to my grandfather, and he is reading it in his room,' she
answered. 'Shall I go and get it?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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