'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"'We are trying to correct the evil of extravagant display in
America, and first I ask you to consider the cause of it. We find it
in the ancient law of supply and demand. The reason that women love to
array themselves in silk and laces and jewels and picture-hats and
plumes of culture and sunbursts of genealogy lies in the fact that
the supply of these things has generally been limited. Their cost is
so high, therefore, that few can afford them, and those who wear
them are distinguished from the common herd. This matter of buying
distinction is the cause of our trouble. Now I propose that we
increase the supply of jewels, silks, laces, picture-hats, and
ancestors in Pointview--that we bring them within the reach of all,
and aim a death-blow at the distinction to be obtained by displaying
them. There isn't a servant-girl in this community who doesn't pant
for luxuries. Why shouldn't she? I move that we have a committee
to consider this inadequate supply of luxuries, with the power to
increase the same at its own expense.'
"I was appointed chairman of that committee, and went to work, with
Betsey and Mrs. Warburton as coadjutors.
"We stocked a store with clever imitations of silks, satins, and
old lace, and the best assortment of Brummagem jewelry that could be
raked together. We had a great show-case full of glittering
paste--bracelets, tiaras, coronets, sunbursts, dog-collars, rings,
necklaces--all extremely modish and so handsome that they would
have deceived any but trained eyes. Our pearls and sapphires were
especially attractive. We hired a skilled dressmaker, familiar
with the latest modes, and a milliner who could imitate the most
stunning hats on Fifth Avenue at reasonable prices. Every servant in
good standing in our community was permitted to come and see and
buy and say 'Charge it.'
"Mrs. Warburton's ball for the servants of Pointview, to be given in
the Town Hall, was coming near. It happened that the committee of
arrangements included Marie and the young Reverend Robert Knowles.
Their intimacy began in the work of that committee. For days they rode
about in the minister's motor-car getting ready for the ball and for
the greater intimacy that followed it.
"Our ball sent its radiance over land and sea. Sunbursts shone like
stars in the Milky Way. A fine orchestra furnished music. Reporters
from New York and other cities were present.
"The nurses, cooks, kitchen-girls, laundresses, and chambermaids of
Pointview were radiant in silk, lace, diamonds, pearls, and rubies.
The costumes were brilliant, but all in good taste. Alabaster? Why, my
dear boy, they would have made the swell set resemble a convention of
beanpoles. For the matter of busts, they busted the record!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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