'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"I draw a check and take a hurried receipt and jump in.
"Away we go. 'Look out!'
"The brakes grind, and we rise in the air a little as a small boy
crosses our bows. We just missed him--thank God!
"'Don't be reckless, old man--go a bit slower.'
"'It's all right. We've a clear road now.'
"What a wind in our faces! There's the track ahead.
"'_Look out! The train! God Almighty!_'
"I spoke too late. We were almost up to the rails when I saw it. We
couldn't stop. Cleared the track in time. Felt the wind of the engine
in my back hair, and then my scalp moved. Just ahead was a light buggy
in the middle of the road and a bull, frightened by the cars,
galloping beside it.
"In the excitement Harry hadn't time to blow, and the roar of the
train had covered our noise. The bull turned into the ditch and
speeded up. We swerved between bull and buggy and grazed the side of
the latter.
"I jumped and landed on the bull, and that saved me. It's the first
time that I ever knocked a bull down. He got to his feet swiftly
beside me, bellowed, and took the fence. He was a fat, well-fed bull
with a big, round, soft side on him. I never knew that a bull was so
mellow. My feet sank deep, and he gave way, and I hit him again with
another part of my person. I didn't mean it, and felt for him,
although it is likely that his feelings needed no further help from
me. Of course I bounded off him at last and the earth hit me a hard
upper-cut, but the bull had been a highly successful shock absorber.
In a second or so I was able to get up and look around. The buggy had
gone over, and the horse was on his hind legs trying to climb out of
the dust-cloud.
"Harry stopped his car and began to back up.
"'That'll do for me,' I said. 'I don't sit in your padded cell any
longer.'
"I had lived a whole three-volume novel in the last forty minutes. The
Panama Canal had been finished and England had become a republic. It
was too much.
"We found two men--one at the head of the frightened horse, the other
lying beside the wrecked buggy with a broken leg.
"And Harry had an engagement to play bridge!
"I took the horse's head. The well man pulled a stake off the fence
and chased Harry around the motor-car. He didn't intend to 'charge
it.' Wanted cash down. I got hold of his arm and succeeded in calming
him.
"Harry apologized and assured them that he was willing to pay the
damage. We picked up the injured man and took him to his home. On the
way Harry explained that they should keep track of all expenses and:
"'Charge it.'
"In a few minutes Harry roared off in the direction of Pointview to
get a doctor and the 6.03 express.
"'It might be a little late,' he said, as he left us.
"The next day Harry was arrested as a public enemy for criminal
carelessness. He had injured three men on the highways of Connecticut,
to say nothing of dogs and poultry. Almost everybody had something
charged against Harry. He was highly unpopular, but a good fellow at
heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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