'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"'But think of the old fellows--the mossbacks--who hate your new
philosophy,' said the minister.
"'And think of the young fellows who are so easily tossed about. The
moss of senility is covering the bloom of youth and the honor of
youth.'"
XV
IN WHICH HARRY RETURNS TO POINTVIEW AND GOES TO WORK
"Betsey and I were giving a dinner-party at our house. Mr. and Mrs.
Henry Delance and the Warburtons and Dan and Lizzie had come over to
discuss a plan for the correction of the greatest folly and
extravagance in the village--namely, the waste of its spiritual
energy.
"At first we had to discuss a fact related to another folly, for the
Delances told how Harry's pet collie had come up to the back door that
day with a human skull in his mouth. Of course I knew that Harry's
Bishop had returned, but held my peace about it. To them it had
suggested murder, and they had consulted the chief of police.
[Illustration: "HARRY'S PET COLLIE HAD COME UP TO THE BACK DOOR WITH A
HUMAN SKULL IN HIS MOUTH"]
"'How do you know that it is not one of your ancestors dug up in a
back pasture,' I said.
"'It might be William the Conqueror,' Lizzie remarked.
"'I deny it,' said Delance, in perfect good nature. 'We have resigned
from William's family. As a matter of fact, I never joined it.'
"I congratulated him.
"'It has always seemed like the merest poppycock to me--this
genealogical craze of the ladies,' said Henry. 'When our London
solicitor wrote that it would take another hundred pounds to establish
the connection beyond a doubt, he gave away the whole scheme, and I
resigned. It was too silly. In these days of titled chambermaids I
think we shall worry along pretty well without William.'
"Then Betsey said: 'I was reading in the county history to-day that
old Zebulon Delance, who was killed in a fight with Indians in 1750,
was buried in a meadow back of his house.'
"'It may be the skull of old Zeb,' said Henry.
"'Now there's an ancestor worth having,' I suggested.
"'I wonder if it can belong to old Zeb,' Henry mused.
"At last we got to my plan. I pictured the condition of the community
as I saw it, and the inefficiency of the church and the need of a new
and active power in Pointview.
"I proposed that we buy the old skating-rink and remodel it, employ
the best talent in America, and start a new center of power in the
community--a power that should, first of all, keep us sane, and then
as decent as possible. The mathematics of the enterprise were at my
fingers' ends:
"Initial Expenses $15,000
"Annual Outlay for Instruction 8,000
"For Music 3,500
"For Maintenance 1,000
"For Management 3,500
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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