'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"Just then the hired man changed his position suddenly, and stood
looking into the sky. I turned and saw an aeroplane coming down like
some great bird from the hills, behind the village. It sailed high
above the spires, and coasted down to a level some fifty feet above
the water-plane between shore and island. In a minute or so it roared
over me, circled the point, and came down in the open field that
faced the Deacon's cottage. Dogs and chickens flew and ran in great
confusion as it swooped to earth. I knew that Harry and his new flier
had reached the island of Deacon Joe, and I hurried ashore to
see--well, 'to see what I could see,' as the old song has it. Harry
jumped from his seat. The hired man ran toward him. Deacon Joe and
Marie and a woman-servant hurried out-of-doors.
"In less time than it takes to tell it, Harry had licked the hired
man, and kicked two dogs in the belly till they ran for life, and shot
another one, and was chasing a second hired man around the wood-shed.
Not being able to run fast enough to do further damage, Harry came to
the astonished group in front of the house and caught Marie in his
arms and kissed her.
"Then he turned to the Deacon, and said: 'Sir, I will keep off your
island if you wish, but I do not propose to be bluffed when I come to
pay my compliments to you and Marie.'
[Illustration: "HE LOOKED LIKE A MAN WITH A WOODEN LEG"]
"Deacon Joe was dumb with astonishment. The young minister came down
out of his tree and walked slowly toward the group, with rags flapping
over one extremity of his union-suit. He looked like a man with a
wooden leg.
"'How did ye get here?' Deacon Joe demanded of Harry.
"'Jumped from the top of Delance's Hill and landed right here,' said
the latter.
"'In that awful-lookin' thing?' the Deacon asked, pointing with his
cane and squinting at the big biplane.
"'In that thing,' Harry answered.
"'How long did it take ye?'
"'About five minutes.'
"'It's impossible,' said the Deacon, as he approached the biplane and
began to look at it.
"'But you'll see me jump back again in a little while,' Harry assured
him.
"'Geehanniker!' the Deacon exclaimed. 'Jumped from the top of
Delance's Hill an' licked my caretaker an' chased a hired man an'
sp'ilt two dogs an' treed the minister and kissed the lady o' the
house--all in about ten minutes. I guess you're a good deal of a
feller.'
"It was the kind of thing that warmed the warrior soul of the Deacon.
"'Hello--here's a dead dog,' said Harry. 'If you'll have one of the
men bring me a shovel I'll bury him there in the garden. Meanwhile you
may tell me how much I owe you for the two dogs.'
"'I guess about twenty-five dollars,' said the Deacon.
"'How much off for cash?' Harry asked.
"'Wal, sir, if you ain't goin' to ask me to charge it, ten dollars
would do,' the Deacon allowed.
"'There's a wonderful power in cash,' said Harry, as he produced the
money.
"'You're gettin' some sense in your head,' said the Deacon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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