'Charge It': Keeping Up With HarryBacheller, Irving
General
'Charge It': Keeping Up With Harry
Bacheller, Irving
Didactic fiction; Humorous stories
"She lives in a big country-house, and has a lot of cats and dogs that
are shampooed every day. Her life is pretty much devoted to the
regulation of hair. Her own requires the exclusive attention of a
hired girl. Its tint, luster, and general effect show excellent taste
and close application. Considering its area, her scalp is the most
remarkable field of industry in Connecticut. Has herself made into a
kind of life-sized portrait every day and carefully framed and lighted
and hung. It is a beautiful portrait, but it is not a portrait of
her.
"Her life is arduous. I have some reason to think that it wearies her.
She rings for the masseuse at 10.30 A.M. and breakfasts in bed at
twelve o'clock. Soon after that the chiropodist and the manicure and
the hair-dresser begin to saw wood; then the grooms and second
footmen. At two o'clock she goes out to pat the head of the
ten-thousand-dollar bull and give some sugar to the horses, all of
whom have been prepared for this ordeal by bathing and massage.
"It's great to be able to pat the head of a ten-thousand-dollar bull.
It's a pretty vanity. All the Fifth Avenue farmers indulge in it. Some
slap them on the back and some poke them in the ribs with the point of
a parasol, but the correct thing is to pat them on the head and say:
Dear old Romeo!
"After a turn in the saddle Mrs. Revere-Chalmers led society until
midnight. With her a new spirit had arrived in the ancient stronghold
of the Yankee.
"I began to learn things about Harry--a big, blond, handsome youth who
had traveled much. He had been to school in New York, London,
Florence, and Paris, and had graduated from Harvard. For a time he
called it Hahvud, but passed that trouble without serious injury and
put it behind him. In the European stage of his career he had been
attacked by lions, griffins, and battle-axes and had lost some of his
red blood. There he had acquired a full line of Fifth Avenue dialect
and conversation with trills and grace notes from France and Italy. He
had been slowly recovering from that trouble for a year or so when I
met him. Now and then a good, strong, native idiom burst out in his
conversation.
"Harry was a man without a country, having never had a fair chance to
acquire one. He had touched many high and low places--from the top of
the Eiffel Tower to the lowest depths of the underworld. Also, he knew
the best hotels in Europe and eastern America, and the Duke of
Sutherland and the Lord Mayor of London, and Jack Johnson, the
pugilist. Harry knew only the upper and lower ends of life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account