Chatterton, Thomas, 1752-1770 -- Drama; Poets -- Drama
Chatterton. Ah, yes: go purchase me another heart;
The world has worn this out--'tis like my shoes.
Mrs. Angell. When through with business you must dine with us:
I have some sheep tongues I would have you try.
Chatterton. What use are sheep tongues when I needs must roar?
I'd eat a lion's litter.
Bertha. [Aside.] O, how strange!
Mrs. Angell. [Aside.] The boy talks very wildly.
Chatterton. [Impatiently.] Madam, go!
You'd make a helpless invalid of me. [Exit Mrs. Angell.]
She is a noble woman and a bore.
Now, Norman blood, what's wrong in Bristol that
Brings you to town?
Burgum. Let us be serious, sir.
Chatterton. First let me borrow Lord North's goggle eyes,
And have the modish stare: my fiery orb
Disquiets men of birth. Go on, go on.
Burgum. My pedigree--
Chatterton. Should antedate the flood:
I'll read your partner's brother's silly book
On the Noachian Deluge, and report
What I can glean.
Burgum. [Aside.] Did I not need his help,
I'd cane the rogue. [To him.] I've brought my quarterings
And pedigree that you did kindly trace
To be examined and attested by
The Herald's College.
Chatterton. [Aside.] George!
He'll find 'tis all a hoax!
Burgum. They have them now.
I must solicit you to go with me,
And answer certain questions. I'll pay you well.
Chatterton. Not for the wealth of Soho Square, my lord.
I am the Duke de Garret: they must come
To interview me here.
Burgum. Impossible!
Chatterton. Then let them nose among their dusty tomes
To solve the riddles.
Burgum. [Indignantly.] 'Tis an outrage, sir!
I am a lineal descendant from--
Chatterton. [Laughing.] I copied that, and know it all by rote.
Your ancestor, in reign of Henry Sixth,
Obtained a royal patent to transmute
All the inferior metals into gold;
And now, while George the Fat squats on the throne,
You, by that charter, deal in pewter, sir.
From gold to pewter--'tis a fearful fall;
And yet you glory in it. O for shame!
Burgum. Remember that my daughter's here.
Chatterton. Forgive me.
If I could aid you, I do vow I would,
But 'tis beyond my power. [Aside.] I do regret,
For her sweet sake, I played the prank.
Burgum. Well, well;
I fear your going would not further me.
Chatterton. [Aside.] You'll learn that soon enough.
Burgum. [Taking coin from purse.] Here is a shilling;
Your landlady asserts you are in need.
Chatterton. [In anger.] 'Tis false!--a lie.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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