"I wish to heaven I had 'gone out;' instead of getting well," was the answer; "I am no good to myself, nor to any one else, and the only being in the world I love, except my father, cares no more for me than she does for a yellow dog." There was an embarrassing silence. "Girls are funny," said Checkers, musingly. Arthur saw no grounds for argument, and Checkers continued, "I never had much time for them, myself, but my friend 'Push' Miller had them coming his way in carriages. You never saw such a fellow for girls; he always had three or four on his staff. He used to play a system on them. I think he called it the Fabian System, after some old joker in the war, who used to win his battles by running away. You see, the other guys would come chasing after this joker, and when he got them where he wanted, he 'd go out and nail them--easy thing. "Well, this Fabian System was a dead sure winner for Push, and if I were you, I 'd try it. The next time you get together, 'jolly up' Sadie. Don't push it too strong; but just enough so that Pert will notice it--she'll get jealous. 'Jolly' Sadie harder, but be polite to Pert, and pretty soon you 'll have her guessing. The chances are that before long she 'll make a play at you--give her the frozen face. Put up a talk about how much you used to love her; work in something about the past, and what might have been. But keep a little up your sleeve; you do n't want her to think you 're coming too easy, and after things are all fixed up, do n't treat her too well again. Push used to say 'there was nothing that really spoiled a girl like treating her too well.' He used to make a date every once in a while, and then break it without sending any excuse, just to show the girl that he was 'good people,' and teach her to have a proper respect for him." Arthur smiled wearily. "Yes;" he said, "that may have done all very well for Push, but it would n't do for me. The girl does n't love me, and there's the end of it. Perhaps some day--well, there's no use discussing it; besides, it would n't be fair to Sadie to use her merely as a cat's-paw. She is a true little girl, with a big, warm heart, and I would n't deceive her for the world." "Well, what's the matter with going out after Sadie in earnest, then?" said Checkers. "Now there 's a scheme that fixes things up all around." Checkers waxed enthusiastic. Arthur did not reply immediately. "Sadie is an earnest, capable girl," he said at length, "and she 'll make some man a splendid wife. I would cheerfully recommend her to my very best friend, but----" "But your friend could have her without a struggle," suggested Checkers; and then they both laughed. This, Checkers afterwards told me was the nearest approach to a joke he ever heard Arthur make.