"Thank you," he said. "We can go to the Milo Club. In return for the
favor, I can promise you that before Thanksgiving you will receive
three large Plymouth Rock chickens of unusual tenderness and flavor."
He picked up a magazine and read while waiting.
Gramenger, when he saw Harvey, leaned back in his chair scrubbing a
meaty chin. He remarked he was pleased to meet Harvey, but he couldn't
place the name, and did not understand how Harvey had got into the
office without a prior appointment. Harvey said these details did
not matter, but that what did matter was that he was here to make a
financial settlement with the firm rather than, later on, to bring suit
against the firm for a sum of one million dollars.
Gramenger's eyebrows went up. He smiled faintly, letting his glance
rove over Harvey's stained leather space jacket and spotted denims.
"I'm sure I'd like to hear your story," he said. "I may as well inform
you, however, that any claims against the company must be laid before
the legal department."
Harvey stood at the desk looking down.
"I'm an abrupt man, sir," he said. "I do things quickly, and then
they're over. I have no liking for red tape or legal maneuvers. If my
business is not settled before I leave this office within the next
hour, you may expect to go to court and lose much more than the meager
damages settlement I am asking."
"Damages for what?" Gramenger frowned irritably. His chair came down
with a bang. "If you think you can pull a fast one with the firm of
Gramenger & Lewis--"
Harvey broke in. He told Gramenger about his planet Plymouth. He showed
his papers of ownership. He described the orbit. He showed where the
planet would intersect the plane of the ecliptic in one week, seven
hours, twenty-eight minutes, and some seconds. He showed the official
seal from the Claims Office proving that this was so.
"Your liner _Hermes_," he said, "will intersect the orbit of the planet
Plymouth some 17,000 miles from Plymouth. The atomic wash from the
_Hermes'_ drivers will infect space for 100,000 miles around; this is
standard knowledge and has been proved in court. Legal precedent has
also established that nucleonic, gravitonic, or positronic infection
of planetary farmlands constitutes a serious misdemeanor for which
damages, both punitive and otherwise, may be sought."
Gramenger grinned. "Let me see those papers." He looked them over,
chuckling. Once he looked up.
* * * * *
"Planetary farmlands, huh? And this planet is a hunk of rock out in
space. Frozen. Only 483 miles in diameter. No atmosphere." He scooped
up the interoffice 'phone. "Phil!" he said. "Get up here. I want you to
prove something to a loco joking yokel I've got up here in the office."
He hung up. "That's my lawyer," he said, leaning back and folding his
hands over his capacious stomach. "Too bad. Maybe you'll learn a lesson
from this."
"May I ask what your birthday is?" Harvey asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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