Child Versus Parent: Some Chapters on the Irrepressible Conflict in the HomeWise, Stephen S. (Stephen Samuel)
General
Child Versus Parent: Some Chapters on the Irrepressible Conflict in the Home
Wise, Stephen S. (Stephen Samuel)
Parent and child
As I surveyed that sorry specimen of filial impiety, apparently
without reverence for his parents or respect for himself, I was moved
to ask myself where lies the fault, whose the ultimate responsibility?
True enough, the children of those parents were rather empty-headed
and superficial beings, but it was the parents who were primarily at
fault. The mother was a blameless rather than a good woman, and the
father was an unseeing, soulless money-grubber with but one aim in
life--namely, to multiply his children's rather than his own comforts,
and to enable them to indulge in every manner of luxury. These gave
their children things and only things, and still there was something
touching in the devotion of the parents, however poor and mistaken its
objects. But there was something repulsive in the indifference of the
children to the parents who had lived for naught else than their
well-being, however mistakenly conceived.
Parents who give their children only things must face the fact that
they make themselves quite dispensable, seeing that they are not
things. For things and the wherewithal to secure them are alone
indispensable according to the parental standards. The ultimate
responsibility? Any possibility of change involves the re-education of
parents. Parents must learn long before parenthood what are the values
in life for which it is worth while to toil and to contend. The root
of the matter goes very deep in conformity to the hint of Oliver
Wendell Holmes with respect to the time at which a child's education
is to be begun.
Some years past, I came upon a ludicrous illustration of the maximum
care devoted to the physical nature and the minimum devoted to the
moral and spiritual nurture of child-life. I heard a very
well-circumstanced mother declare: "I never permit my child to have a
crumb of food handed it by its governess which has not previously been
tasted by me." Quite innocently I asked: "Where is the little
gentleman?" The answer was: "Napoleon--I call him that because his
name was Caesar--is at the 'movies' this afternoon." Upon further
inquiry, I learned that the mother did not know the name and nature of
the play upon which her son was looking, and that in order to keep him
out of mischief he was sent every afternoon to the motion picture
theatres. Here was the good mother tasting every mouthful fed to the
heir-apparent lest harm befall him, and, yet, he was spending an hour
or more daily in attendance at a motion-picture theatre where poison
rather than food might be and probably was fed to the child's mind.
But no hesitation and no fear were felt on that score. Underlying the
one concern and the other unconcern is a crude materialism which
assumes that the avenue of access to a child's well-being is feeding
but that the mind, howsoever fed and impoisoned, even of a little
child, could somehow be trusted to take care of itself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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