for him to kill himself, for he believed as his fathers had done in the worthlessness and wretchedness of human life, and that belief made him think it right to leave it. The family talked in sorrow and bitterness, and planned how they each in turn would end the life that had become so sad. But the training that Ananta had given to his children, and the close bonds of love that had been drawn amongst the forests, were stirring instincts that he did not dream of. It was a terrible thing to Hindu minds for a Brahman to do labourer’s work, but Ananta’s son felt that it was a far more terrible thing to see the father whom he honoured take away his own life, and the lad made up his mind that he would find work of some kind no matter how humble it was, and so bring food and life to his father and mother. But though they were saved the pain of knowing that their father had taken his own life, they could not keep him with them much longer. The suffering and want of these days of weary travel had told on him, and with anxious thoughts about the future of his children, he died. Amongst his last words was a special message to Ramabai that she should always obey and serve God, for though the family still worshipped idols yet Ananta had come to believe that there was only one God in the universe, and that He would take care of those who obeyed Him. Caste and custom with their grim shadows watched over Ananta’s funeral. He had put himself outside the bonds of caste, and no one would help to bury him. At length the sad rites were over, but Lakshmibai was so ill that her children feared that they would lose her too. They could not find steady work even of the humblest kind, and the one thing open to them still, they could not do. They could not beg. The spirit of Lakshmibai was broken. She could fight no longer. There was no refuge to which she could be taken. If she had killed both of her baby daughters, doors might still have been open to her amongst her caste people and relations, for the mother of a son, even when she is a widow, is not wholly despised; but because, instead of killing Ramabai, she and Ananta had taught her and had refused to have her married when she was still a child, every door was shut against her. There was no hospital nor home to which she could go. For many a sick man and woman in India the only hospital has been the waters of the Ganges or a living grave. It was terrible for Ramabai to see the suffering of her mother, and one day she started out to beg--only she could not do it when she came to the point. But the woman to whose house she went saw the little pinched face and the hungry eyes, and gave her a bit of bread with which she rushed home to her mother, who was by that time too weak to eat it, and very soon Ramabai and her brother were left alone in the world. CHAPTER XII THE PANDITA RAMABAI