Of such was Clement Hicks. And yet in this dark hour he cried for
Justice, not knowing to whom or to what he cried. Right judgment was
dead at last. He rose and shook his head in mute answer to the voices
still clamouring to his consciousness. They moaned and reverberated and
mingled with the distant music of the bellwether, but his mind was made
up irrevocably now; he had determined to do the thing he had come to do.
He told himself nothing much mattered any more; he laughed as he rose
and wiped the sweat off his face, and passed down Steeperton through
debris of granite. "Life's only a breath and then--Nothing," he thought;
"but it will be interesting to see how much more bitterness and agony
those that pull the strings can cram into my days. I shall watch from
the outside now. A man is never happy so long as he takes a personal
interest in life. Henceforth I'll stand outside and care no more, and
laugh and laugh on through the years. We're greater than the Devil that
made us; for we can laugh at all his cursed cruelty--we can laugh, and
we can die laughing, and we can die when we please. Yes, that's one
thing he can't do--torment us an hour more than we choose."
Suicide was always a familiar thought with this man, but it had never
been farther from his mind than of late. Cowardly in himself, his love
for Chris Blanchard was too great to suffer even the shadow of
self-slaughter to tempt him at the present moment. What might happen in
the future, he could not tell; but while her happiness was threatened
and her life's welfare hung in the balance, his place was by her side.
Then he looked into Will Blanchard's future and asked himself what was
the worst that could result from his pending treachery. He did not know
and wished time had permitted him to make inquiries. But his soul was
too weary to care. He only looked for the ordeal to be ended; his aching
eyes, now bent on his temporal environment, ranged widely for the
spectacle of a rider on a brown horse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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