Pan Stanislav recalled Bigiel's words at that moment. But Mashko, by
a marvellous coincidence, spoke on in such fashion as if wishing to
answer those words.
"And dost think that I did not give account to myself that I was going
too sharply; that I was hurrying with too much force; that I wanted
to be something greater than I was; that I carried my nose too high?
No one will render me that justice; but knowest thou that I said it
to myself? But I said to myself, too: 'It is needful to do this; this
is the one way to rise to distinction. Maybe things are wrong, maybe
life, in general, goes backward; but had it not been for that adventure
unforeseen, and of unfathomable stupidity, I should have succeeded just
because I was such as I was. If I had been a modest man, I should not
have got Panna Kraslavski. With us it is necessary always to pretend
something; and if the devils take me, it is not through my pride, but
that blockhead."
"But how the deuce art thou to know surely that thy marriage will fail?"
"My dear man, thou hast no knowledge of those women. They agreed
on Pan Mashko through lack of something better, for Pan Mashko had
good success. But if any shadow falls on my property, my position,
my station, they will throw me aside without mercy, and then roll
mountains on to me to shield themselves before the world of society.
What knowledge hast thou of them? Panna Kraslavski is not Panna
Plavitski."
A moment of silence followed, then Mashko spoke further, with a
weakening voice: "She could have rescued me. For her I should have
gone on another road,--a far quieter one. In such conditions Kremen
would have been saved; the debt on it would have fallen away, as well
as Plavitski's annuity. I should have waded out. Dost thou know that,
besides, I fell in love with her in student fashion? It came so,
unknown whence. But she chose rather to be angry with thee than love
me. Now I understand; there is no help for it."
Pan Stanislav, who did not relish this conversation, interrupted it,
and spoke with a shadow of impatience,--
"It astonishes me that a man of thy energy thinks everything lost,
while it is not. Panna Plavitski is a past on which thou hast made a
cross, by proposing to Panna Kraslavski. As to the present, thou wert
attacked, it is true; but thou hast fought, thou wert wounded, but in
such a way that in a week thou wilt be well; and finally, those ladies
have not announced that they break with thee. Till thou hast that,
black on white, thou hast no right to talk thus. Thou art sick, and
that is why thou art reading funeral services over thyself prematurely.
But I will tell thee another thing. It is for thee to let those ladies
know what has happened. Dost wish, I will go to them to-morrow, then
they will act as they please; but let them be informed by thy second,
not by city gossips."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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