This roused a new attack of rage. This time, however, the rage included
himself. Without taking farewell of any one, he sat in the brichka,
which came up just then, and drove out of Kremen. In his soul such
anger was seething that for a time he could think of nothing but
vengeance. "I will sell it, even for a third of the value," said he to
himself, "and let others distrain you. I give my word of an honest man
that I will sell. Even without need, I will sell out of spite!"
In this way his intention was changed into a stubborn and sworn
resolve. Pan Stanislav was not of those who break promises given to
others or themselves. It was now a mere question of finding a man to
buy a claim so difficult of collection; for to receive the amount of it
was, without exaggeration, to crack a flint with one's teeth.
Meanwhile the brichka rolled out of the alley to the road in the open
field. Pan Stanislav, recovering somewhat, began to think of Marynia
in a form of mind which was a mosaic composed of the impressions which
her face and form had made on him,--of recollections of the Sunday
conversation; of repulsion, of pity, of offence, animosity; and,
finally, dissatisfaction with himself, which strengthened his animosity
against her. Each of these feelings in turn conquered the others,
and cast on them its color. At times he recalled the stately figure
of Marynia, her eyes, her dark hair, her mouth, pleasing, though too
large, perhaps; finally, her expression; and an outburst of sympathy
for her mastered him. He thought that she was very girlish; but in
her mouth, in her arms, in the lines of her whole figure, there was
something womanly, something that attracted with irresistible force.
He recalled her mild voice, her calm expression, and her very evident
goodness. Then, at thought of how harsh he had been to her before
going,--at thought of the tone with which he had spoken to her,--he
began to curse himself. "If the father is an old comedian, a trickster,
and a fool," said he to himself; "and if she feels all this, she is
the unhappier. But what then? Every man with a bit of heart would have
understood the position, taken compassion on her, instead of attacking
the poor overworked child. I attacked her. I!" Then he wanted to slap
his own face; for at once he imagined what might have been, what an
immeasurable approach, what an exceptional tenderness would have
arisen, if, after all the quarrels with her father, he had treated her
as was proper,--that is, with the utmost delicacy. She would have given
him both hands when he was leaving; he would have kissed them; and he
and she would have parted like two persons near to each other. "May
the devils take the money!" repeated he to himself; "and may they take
me!" And he felt that he had done things which could not be corrected.
This feeling took away the remnant of his equilibrium, and pushed him
all the more along that road, the error of which he recognized. And he
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