When he had finished reading, Pan Stanislav put the letter in the
side-pocket of his coat, which he buttoned. Then he pushed his hat down
to the back of his head, and felt a certain intense desire to break his
cane into small bits and throw them into the river: he did not do this,
however; he only began to mutter, while gritting his teeth,--
"Yes; very well. Thou knowest Polanyetski! Be confident that he will
not injure thee! Thou wilt come out in safety."
Then he addressed himself as follows,--
"Thou hast thy deserts; for she is an angel, and thou art not worthy of
her." And again a desire seized him to break his cane into bits. Now he
saw clearly that the soul of that maiden had been ready to give itself
with all faith and trust to him; and he prepared for her one of those
painful and wounding disillusions, the memory of which, fixed once and
forever, pains eternally. To sell the claim was nothing; but to sell
it to a man wishing to buy it with the intention which Mashko had,
was to say to the woman, "I do not want thee; marry him, if it please
thee." What a bitter disillusion for her, after all that he had said to
her on that Sunday,--after those words friendly, open, and at the same
time intended to enter her heart! They were chosen for that purpose,
and he felt that she had taken them in that sense. He might repeat as
often as he pleased that they bound him to nothing; that in the first
meeting and in the first conversation which a man has with a woman, he
merely pushes out horns, like a snail, and tries the ground to which he
has come. That would be no consolation to him now. Besides, he was not
merely not in humor for self-justification, but wished rather to give
himself a slap on the face. He saw for the first time so definitely
that he might have received Marynia's heart and hand; and the more real
that possibility was to him, the more the loss seemed irreparable.
Moreover, from the moment of reading that letter, a new change appeared
in him. His own reasoning that now he ought to let Marynia go, seemed
pitiful and paltry. With all his faults, Pan Stanislav had a grateful
heart; and that letter moved him to a high degree, by the kindness and
understanding, by the readiness to love, which were revealed in it.
Hence the remembrance of Marynia became rosy in his heart and mind all
at once,--became rosy even with such power that he thought,--
"As God is in heaven, I shall fall in love with her now!" And such a
tenderness seized him that in presence of it even anger at himself had
to yield. He joined the company after a while, and, pushing forward a
little with Pani Emilia, said,--
"Give me this letter."
"With the greatest pleasure. Such an honest letter, is it not? And you
did not confess to me that she suffered somewhat at parting; but I will
not reprove, since she herself takes you under her protection."
"If it would help, I would beg you to beat me; but there is nothing to
be said, for those are things incurable."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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