Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1800-1837 -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Political fiction
True. Yet how dreary to her young eyes seemed that routine stretched
before her! How her courage fainted at the prospect of morning added to
morning, formal walk to formal walk, lesson to lesson, one generation
of pupils to another! For generation would follow generation, one
chubby face would give place to another, and still she would be there,
plodding through the stale task, listening with an aching head to the
strumming on the harpsichord, saying the same things, finding the same
faults, growing slowly into a correcting, scolding, punishing machine.
By and by she would know The Fairchild Family by heart, and she would
sicken at the “Letters on the Improvement of the Mind.” The children
would still be young, but grey hairs would come to her, she would grow
stout and dull; and those slender hands, those dainty fingers still
white and fine, still meet for love, would be seared by a million
needle-pricks and roughened by the wear and tear of ten thousand hours
of plain sewing.
She was ungrateful, oh, she was ungrateful to think such thoughts! For
in what was her lot worse than the lot of others? Or worse than it had
been a week before when, who more humble-minded or contented, more
cheerful or helpful than Mary Smith? When her only fault had been a
weakness of character which her old schoolmistress hoped would be cured
by time? When, though the shadow of an unknown Miss Sibson loomed
formidable before her, she had faced her fate bravely and hopefully,
supported not a little by the love and good wishes—won by a thousand
kind offices—which went with her into the unknown world.
What had happened in the meantime? A little thing, oh, a very little
thing. But to think of it under the childrens’ eyes made her face burn
again. She had lost her heart—to a man. To a man! The very word seemed
improper in that company. How much more improper when the man cared
nothing for her, but tossing her a smile for guerdon, had taken her
peace of mind and gone his way, with a laugh. At the best, if he had
ever dreamt seriously of her, ever done more than deem her an innocent,
easily flattered and as lightly to be won, he had changed his mind as
quickly as a weather-cock shifts in April. And he had talked—that hurt
her, that hurt her most! He had talked of her freely, boasted of her
silliness, told his companions what he would do, or what he would not
do; made her common to them!
She got away for a few minutes at tea-time. But twenty pairs of eyes
followed her from the room and seized on her as she returned. And “Miss
Smith, ain’t you well?” piped a tiny treble.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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