But hark, there is a step upon the stair, a hurried, feverish,
uncertain step, and Halbert Melville rushes into his deserted room, wan,
haggard, weary, with despair stamped upon his usually firm, but now
quivering lip, and anguish, anguish of the most terrible kind, in his
burning eye. He has been doubting, fearing, questioning, falling away
from his pure faith--falling away from his devout worship, losing
himself and his uprightness of thought, because questioning the
soundness of his ancient principles and laying them aside one by one,
like effete and worthless things. He has been led forward to doubt by
the most specious sophistry--not the rigid unflinching inquiry of a
truth-seeker, whose whole mind is directed to use every aid that
learning, philosophy, history, and experience can furnish, to find, or
to establish what is true and of good repute, but the captious search
for seeming flaws and incongruities, the desire to find some link so
weak that the whole chain might be broken and cast off. In such spirit
has Halbert Melville been led to question, to doubt, to mock, at length,
and to laugh, at what before was the very source of his strength and
vigour, and the cause of his academical success. And he has fallen--but
to-night--to-night he has gone with open eyes into the haunts of
undisguised wickedness--to-night he has seen and borne fellowship with
men unprincipled, not alone sinning against God, whose existence they
have taught Halbert to deny, whose laws they have encouraged him, by
their practice and example, to despise, contemn, and set aside, but also
against their neighbours in the world and in society. To-night, while
his young heart was beating with generous impulses,--while he still
loathed the very idea of impurity and iniquity, he has seen the friends
of his “friend,” he has seen his favoured companion and immaculate guide
himself, whose professions of purity and uprightness have often charmed
him, who scorned God’s laws, because there was that innate dignity in
man that needed not an extraneous monitor, whose lofty, pure nature has
been to Halbert that long twelvemonth something to reverence and admire;
him has he seen entering with manifest delight into all the vile
foulness of unrestrained and unconcealed sin, into all the unhallowed
orgies of that midnight meeting and debauch. Unhappy Halbert! The veil
has been torn from his eyes, he sees the deep, black fathomless abyss
into which he has been plunged, the hateful character of those who have
dragged him over its perilous brink, who have tempted him to wallow in
the mire of its pollutions and to content himself with its flowing wine,
its hollow heartless laughter, its dire and loathsome pleasures.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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