She had now been married exactly four weeks, but it seemed like four
years--four ages--as if she hardly remembered the time when she was
Christian Oakley. Yet now and then, in a dim sort of way, her old
identity returned to her, as it does to those who, after a great crisis
and uprooting of all life, submit, some in despair, some in humble,
patience, to the inevitable.
This good time, this lucid interval, so to speak, usually came to her in
the morning, when she took her early walk in the familiar places; for
to Christian familiarity only made things more dear. Already she was
beginning to find her own nooks, and to go about her own ways in those
grim college rooms, which grew less ghostly now that she knew them
better. Already she was getting a little used to her new home, her
formal dignities, and her handsome clothes. It was a small thing
to think of, perhaps, and yet, as she walked across the college
quadrangles, remembering how often she had shivered in her thin shawl
along these very paths, the rich fur cloak felt soft and warm, like her
husband's goodness and unfailing love.
As she stepped with her light, firm tread across the crinkling snow,
she was--not unhappy. In her still dwelt that wellspring of healthy
vitality, which always, under all circumstances, responds more or less
to the influence of the cheerful morning, the stainless childhood, of
the day. No wonder the "reading man" who had been so insensible to the
picturesque in nature, turned his weary eyes to look after her, or that
a bevy of freshmen, rushing wildly out of chapel, with their surplices
flying behind them like a flock of white--geese?--should have stopped to
stare, a little more persistently than gentlemen ought, at the solitary
lady, who was walking where she had a perfect right to walk, and at
an hour when she could scarcely be suspected of promenading either to
observe or to attract observation. But Christian went right on, with
perfect composure. She knew she was handsome, for she had been told so
once; but the knowledge had afterward become only pain. Now, she was
indifferent to her looks--at least as indifferent as any womanly woman
ever can be, or ought to be. Still, it vexed her a little that these
young men should presume to stare, and she was glad she was not walking
in Saint Bede's, and that they were not the men of her own college.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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