Had any one told her a while ago that she should stand for hours
watching every change in that pale face, whose common, uncomely features
grew spiritualized with sickness, till she often trembled on their
unearthly sweetness; that twenty times in the night she would start up
from her uncomfortable sofa-bed, listening for the slightest sound; that
the sight of Arthur eating his dinner (often prepared by her own hands,
for the servants of the Lodge were strangely neglectful), or of Arthur
trying to play a game of draughts, and faintly smiling over it, should
cause her a perfect ecstasy of delight, Christian would have replied
"Impossible!" But heaven sometimes converts our impossibles and
inevitables into the very best blessings we have--most right, most
natural, and most dear.
As to Christian herself, she was, even externally, greatly changed.
Pale as she looked, and no wonder, there was a light in her eye and
a firmness in her step very different from those of the weary-looking
woman who used to roam listlessly about the gloomy galleries or sit
silently working in the equally gloomy drawing-room with Miss Gascoigne
and Miss Grey.
Poor Aunt Maria, in her regular daily visit--she dared venture no
more--to the sick-room door, would sometimes say hesitatingly, "My dear,
how well you look still? You are sure you are not breaking down?" And
Christian, grateful for the only kindly woman's face she ever saw near
her, would respond with a smile--sometimes with a kiss, which always
alarmed Aunt Maria exceedingly.
As for Aunt Henrietta, she never came at all. Since the evening when
she had marched out of the room in high dudgeon, she had taken not the
smallest notice of the sick boy. His life or death was apparently of far
less moment to her than her own offended dignity. Had he been left in
her sole charge, she would doubtless have done her duty to him but to
stand by and see another doing it? No! a thousand times no! That part,
insignificant in itself, and yet often one of the very sweetest and most
useful in life's harmonies, familiarly called "second fiddle," was a
part impossible to be played by Miss Gascoigne.
What she did or said--though probably the first was little and the other
a great deal--was happily unknown to Mrs. Grey. Her one duty lay clear
before her, to save her poor boy's life, if any human means could do it.
And sometimes, when she saw the agony and anxiety in his father's face,
Christian felt a wild joy in spending herself and being spent, even to
the last extremity, if by such means she could repay to her most good
and tender husband that never-counted, unaccountable debt of love, which
nothing ever does pay except return in kind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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