[Illustration: BOXING DAY. AN OFFENDED DIGNITARY OF THE CHURCH. 'BOLISH THE BOXES, INDEED: 'SPECT NEXT THEY'L 'BOLISH THE BISHOPS.-- WHAT'S A SEASON WITHOUT COMPLIMENTS?] Master Ichabod Strap, in his richest yellow breeches, and burnished badge of St. Stiff the Martyr, is perambulating the parish with his gay phylactery, or Christmas-piece--"The History of Joseph," painted, like the coat, in many colours:--he shows it to Mrs. Brown, who approves the performance; "stroking the head of modest and ingenuous worth that blushed at its own praise;" measuring the boy at a glance, and proffering him promotion in the shape of an uniform, of buttons, just vacated by a youth--called by his peers "Nobby Jones," but by his mistress "Alphonso;"--who, having grown to the great risk of buttons and stitches, was dispossessed of his regimentals, being sent home one dark night in his bed-gown. "Ichabod" promises to resign that title and all connection with the dirty boys, to reign as Alphonso the second page; being missed by Mr. Spohf, for whom he used to blow the organ, in the little second floor--a bereavement Mrs. B. enjoyed, saying, she wondered how the unworthy little animal would raise the wind now. There is an universal adage about risking sprats to capture herrings--a sport not unknown to our cosmopolite Captain, for he had fished in troubled waters, and hunted for a dinner many a time;--he knew the traps and snares to secure game, the days and seasons; so, on Boxing-day, he baits the servants with crowns; Tommy with a sovereign; Angelina with "The Keepsake;" Jemima with a modern-ancient missal, or portion of Scripture made dear and difficult to read; presenting Mrs. B. with the last new art manufacture--"The Knowing Blade, a brazen-faced sharper, to remove blunt;" and procuring for Mr. B. the skin of the identical Bengal tiger he killed, as may be seen from a legend running up the back bone--though an inscription on the tip of the tail states it to be sold by Fitch of Regent Street. The bait secures its amount of flat-fish; for that evening, Captain de Camp was more than usually lucky--he caught enough at _ecarte_ to clear himself;--a freak of fortune that caused no asperity in the noble breast of Brown; for here are his own thoughts in his own words:--"December 26_th_, _Wednesday_ (Boxing-day).--My dear friend, De Camp, has this day given us all tokens of the warmest attachment--sadly wanting to do something for me--'Colonial,' 'War,' or 'Admiralty.' Not requiring anything just now, this will form an admirable reserve; I must, in the meantime, profit by his refined society, as I hope and trust the girls will by his sons'. If there be any drawback to the delight I feel, it is the non-arrival of his luggage; for I am personally inconvenienced by his wearing my best coat. I may be over-scrupulous in wishing he would return the books he devours with such avidity:--Mrs. B. says, she thinks, the paragon of