ringing all the bells at once without avail; so enters by the back window, and performs a dexterous summerset down the stairs, in company with some evergreens and a flower-stand, ending in a series of double knocks performed upon the inside of the door with the back of his head, and a cuffing from Mr. Brown junior, who happens to be coming in with the key, taking his respected governor for a burglar. [Illustration] The Browns are next door:--Victoria is fraternizing with Albert, and both are exceedingly happy, although the latter has won greatly at the game of _speculation_--having played his cards well; so, Mr. Brown, after being packed in brown paper, steeped in vinegar, and well soda-watered, joins the social party;--finding Captain de Camp busy concocting an extraordinary oriental mixture (the name of which we quite forget) out of old bottles, from Victoria's cellar; and telling a tremendous Eastern _story_ of a tiger captured in a jungle, after a chase of ten hours--he should have said minutes, in a penny magazine! Mr. Brown and the Captain soon became familiar--in twenty minutes you would have thought them friends of twenty years:--so,--before the last speculator had invested his last weekly sixpence in a goose-club, and drawn the last adamantine old gander; or the last Christmas-pudding-sweep swept away the chimerical puddings, that ought to have been very rich, and everybody thought everybody else had won; before the last trader, who had sold out, dared to mount a notice, intimating that he had joined an "Association to suppress Christmas-boxes,"--the Browns and De Camps had attained that state denominated "thick"--an appellation that might, with propriety, have been applied to Mr. Brown's brains;--for he had obliged Captain de Camp by discounting a bill, due twelve days after date (Christmas), and had invited him to dine on the morrow, to partake of the poultry, that always came up at Christmas, from Plumpsworth; and was taken out in a visit made by the worthy donor, Great-uncle Clayclod, during the "May-meetings," when he does a dozen shilling exhibitions in a day, and knocks up a fly-horse. So, rather late to bed; Mr. Brown making up his Diary, as usual, on the dressing-table--a rule he always observed, though, in some cases, it would have been better left until the morning; for, against December 24th, Tuesday, we find his feelings richly expressed in cramped caligraphy, upside down, bearing evident marks of excitement;--having been penned--in a dream--with hair-dye, mistaken for ink; pounced with carmine, and blotted with the small-tooth-comb in lieu of paper; it is, moreover, curious for its allegorical allusions--likening Captain de Camp to a "brick," a "downey card," a "sharp file," and several other inanimate poetical images.