American fiction -- 19th century; Christmas stories, American
I came to know them all, from _mitering_ to
_nosing_, though I never rightly made out the orthography of that last
word or its derivation either, but I knew just what it was, and was
great on a squint to see if things were square or _plumb_, as Billy
called it, and I think I made them change one window three times, and a
certain door twice. What a propensity they did have for getting things
wrong, that is, according to my ideas, and poor Cilly had been driven
nearly crazy with windows just where she did not want them, and doors
opening against her furniture. Then, too, she informed me, she began to
suspect that the men thought she was strong-minded, and wanted to vote,
because she superintended them, and was always in the thickest of it,
and exactly in their way. Whether they liked masculine rule better, I
never heard. I only know that they all worked well and faithfully, and
they certainly did get on faster when they were not obliged to pull down
one day what they had done the day before. This had been Cilly’s method
of procedure, aided and abetted by her mother, whom the men stigmatized
as “the old one,” and who spied upon them from every keyhole, and came
unexpectedly upon them from every corner. She was disabled now, and
could only issue daily bulletins to which I paid no heed, and so the
repairs went on, and just three months after the first nail was driven
the last man departed, and we went to work setting to rights, which
would have been delightful business, if only we could have found our
things, but everything was lost or mislaid. Curtain fixtures were gone;
door keys were gone; stair rods were missing; screw drivers and
tack-hammers could not be found; wood-saw broken; both trowels lost;
water pails full of plaster, and all the brooms in the house spoiled, to
say nothing of the dusters and dust pans broken, and dippers lost.
But then, we had a double piazza, and a place for flowers, and a china
closet so big that I had to spend a hundred dollars to fill it, and our
bed-room has two arches over the south windows, and a raised platform
behind them, and we have each of us a bureau in a dressing-room which
looks like a long hall, and I have four drawers all to myself for my
shirts and neckties, and a quarter of a closet, and there are east
windows and south windows, which make it so bright in the morning that
the flies bite me awfully, and we had to buy a mosquito net to keep them
off, and instead of being disturbed by Mrs. Patterson’s pump, and
looking into nothing but her back yard and kitchen, we now look into
Mrs. Alling’s barn-yard, with a most unsightly corn-crib in the center
of it, and Mrs. Alling’s roosters have a bad habit of crowing every
hour, while at about three or four o’clock in the morning, the noise is
so terrible, that I believe her hens crow too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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