"The word 'escape' doesn't apply," he snapped, "to what I'm doing.
_You're_ escaping. You'll creep into the microcosm and sit there like a
seed that won't grow. You can't fight the Authority from the microcosm.
That way is utter passivity and death. _My_ way is fighting back. I'm
going into hyper-space. My ship and I'll become so huge and powerful
I'll throw suns around like snowballs. I'll toss meteors around like
grains of corn. I'll upset gravities and warp time. I'll stretch and
straighten space. I'll turn dimensions inside out--"
"Yes. You'll destroy. You'll ruin everything, you'll break the innocent
as well as the guilty."
"I'll have to take that chance," he said grimly. "But I'll destroy the
Authority and everything that goes with it."
She pulled from his grasp. "Violence and destruction are not my way.
They never have been." Slowly now she sank into the chair, looked past
him as she spoke. "You've always worshipped spaces and vacuums and
voids. I've always been happy working with flowers and trees, the life
of the meadow and valley, the rain and the new, small buds in
springtime. We have always gone in opposite directions."
She paused and smiled a bit wistfully. "It's funny. Now we find, too
late to help our marriage, that there's a whole universe between us. You
refuse, or perhaps you're afraid, I don't know, to go to the source of
everything--this table, this chair, this gown, your own flesh. You don't
want to understand life; any more than you want to understand me. You
must conquer it--or destroy it. You must be a giant that can kick the
earth around like a football. But I _do_ want to understand, for in
understanding lies the cure. My machine will take me into the atoms.
I'll become part of the fabric and tapestry of the very warp and woof of
our world. By becoming a _part_ of it, I will _know_. I'll find the
secret of life in inner space and I'll return and release our people
from the Authority. And you? You'll never _really_ understand anything.
You'll be a wild comet, yes, but I'll be a raindrop in a deep well,
learning patience. I'll be a true healer."
For a moment sadness rose and softened his face. "There's nothing more
to say, is there."
"I'm afraid not."
"We'll make the goodbys quick." He came to her. "At least we're being
honest with each other. No lies. No pettiness. We've developed pretty
powerful ideals. And they just won't fit together. It's that simple--and
that good."
She looked up at him and smiled. "At least I haven't lost you to another
woman."
He returned her smile. "We're getting sentimental. This isn't good. It's
weakening." He bent and lightly kissed her hair. For an instant her
breathing stopped.
"Goodby."
"Goodby," she whispered.
He strode to the door and opened it. His body snapped taut.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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