And then it set me on the bank, quite thankful for my life, And looking 'round I give a gaze to find my faithful wife; But she had kind o' cut this wave with all the edge she had, And stood a-looking 'round for me, uncommon moist and sad; While Sister Sunnyhopes with smiles was looking sweet and gay, A-floating on her dainty back some several rods away! [Illustration] She looked so newish pretty there--(she knowed it, too, the elf!)-- The crowd was all admiring her, and so was I myself; And while I once more grasped the line, beside my wife of truth, My eyes _would_ rove to Sister S.--her beauty and her youth; When all at once a brindle wave, uncommon broad and deep, Came thrashing down on Wife and me, and flopped us in a heap! [Illustration] [Illustration] Heels over head--all in a bunch--my wife across of me, And I on some misguided folks who happened there to be, My hat untied and floated off, and left my bald head bare-- When I got out, if I'd have spoke, 'twould warmed up all the air! We drank 'bout two-thirds of the sea--my gasping wife and I-- While Sister S. still floated soft, a-gazing at the sky! [Illustration: "WE VOTED THAT WE'D HAD ENOUGH."] We voted that we'd had enough, and got right out the way Before another wave arrived, and bid the sea good-day. We looked as like two drownded rats as ever such was called, With one of them a dumbed old fool and most completely bald. But, like a woman true she says--my shivering wife to me-- "We will not mind; there's others here looks just as bad as we." Now, Sister Sunnyhopes, by'm-by, came back into our tent, As sleek or sleeker than before, and asked us "When we went?" Said I, "My dear good Sister S., please do not now pretend You did not see our voyage through, and mark its doleful end. If you would play the mermaid fair, why such I'd have you be; But we're too old to take that part--my faithful wife and me; "Some folks may be who ocean waves are fitted to command, But we've concluded _we_ was built expressly for the land. And when I want amusement for an uncompleted day, I guess I'll go and take it in some good old-fashioned way; And will not stand upon my head 'fore all the folks that's there, And wildly wave my dumbed old feet in all the neighboring air!" VICE. [_From Farmer Harrington's Calendar._] SEPTEMBER 10, 18--. Ah me! it makes a sinner wondrous blue, To see so many other sinners too! When I rake over all my faults, and then Notice the same, or worse, in other men, It makes me very much surprised and sad, That Heaven should see Earth turning out so bad!