'As I was saying, gentlemen, I had become awfully reduced--not a cent in my possession, not a friend in the world, and clothed in rags. One night, half-crazed with hunger, I stationed myself at the Park, having armed myself with a paving stone, determined to rob the first person that came along, even if I should be obliged to dash out his brains.--After a while, a young gentleman approached my lurking place; I advanced towards him with my missile raised, and he drew a sword from his cane, prepared to act on the defensive--but when I mentioned that three days had elapsed since I had taken food, the generous young man, who might easily have overcome me, weak and reduced as I was--took from his pocket a fifty dollar bill, and gave it to me. This generous gift set me on my legs again, and now here am I, a Knight of the Round Table, with a pocket full of rocks, and good prospects in anticipation. Now, the only wish of my heart is to do that generous benefactor of mine a service; and if ever I can do a good action to him, to prove my gratitude, I shall be a happy fellow indeed.' 'Posh!' said the Dead Man, contemptuously--'don't talk to me of gratitude--if a man does _me_ a service I hate him for it ever afterwards. I never rest till I repay him by some act of treachery or vengeance.' As the hideous man gave utterance to this abominable sentiment, several females entered the apartment, one of whom led by the hand a small boy of five years of age. This woman was the wife of the Dead Man, and the child was his son. The little fellow scrambled upon the table, and his father took him upon his knee, saying to the company-- 'Pals, you know the blessed Bible tells us to 'train up a child in the way he should go;' very good--now you will see how well I have obeyed the command with this little _kid_. Attend to your catechism, my son. What is your name?' 'Jack the Prig,' answered the boy without hesitation. 'Who gave you that name?' 'The Jolly Knights of the Round Table.' 'Who made you?' asked the father. 'His Majesty, old Beelzebub!' said the child. 'For what purpose did he make you?' 'To be a bold thief all my life, and die like a man upon the gallows!' Immense applause followed this answer. 'What is the whole duty of man?' 'To drink, lie, rob, and murder when necessary.' 'What do you think of the Bible?' 'It's all a cursed humbug!' 'What do you think of me--now speak up like a man!' 'You're the d----dest scoundrel that ever went unhung,' replied the boy, looking up in his father's face and smiling. The roar of laughter that followed his answer was perfectly deafening, and was heartily joined in by the Dead Man himself, who had taught the child the very words--and those words were true as gospel. The Dead Man knew he was a villain, and gloried in the title. He gave the boy a glass of brandy to drink, as a reward for his cleverness; and further encouraged him by prophesying that he would one day become a great thief.