‘The wife of a brassfounder,’ he said to Clara; ‘made a lot of money, and
now he has bought a house at Dulwich and is setting up a library.
Somebody has told him that he ought to have a county history, and that
Manning and Bray is the book. Manning and Bray! What he wants is a
Dulwich and Denmark Hill Directory. No, no,’ and he took down one of the
big volumes, blew the dust off the top edges and looked at the old
book-plate inside, ‘you won’t go there if I can help it.’ He took a
fancy to Clara when he found she loved literature, although what she read
was out of his department altogether, and his perfectly human behaviour
to her prevented that sense of exile and loneliness which is so horrible
to many a poor creature who comes up to London to begin therein the
struggle for existence. She read and meditated a good deal in the shop,
but not to much profit, for she was continually interrupted, and the
thought of her sister intruded itself perpetually.
Madge seldom or never spoke of her separation from Frank, but one night,
when she was somewhat less reserved than usual, Clara ventured to ask her
if she had heard from him since they parted.
‘I met him once.’
‘Madge, do you mean that he found out where we are living, and that he
came to see you?’
‘No, it was just round the corner as I was going towards Holborn.’
‘Nothing could have brought him here but yourself,’ said Clara, slowly.
‘Clara, you doubt?’
‘No, no! I doubt you? Never!’
‘But you hesitate; you reflect. Speak out.’
‘God forbid I should utter a word which would induce you to disbelieve
what you know to be right. It is much more important to believe
earnestly that something is morally right than that it should be really
right, and he who attempts to displace a belief runs a certain risk,
because he is not sure that what he substitutes can be held with equal
force. Besides, each person’s belief, or proposed course of action, is a
part of himself, and if he be diverted from it and takes up with that
which is not himself, the unity of his nature is impaired, and he loses
himself.’
‘Which is as much as to say that the prophet is to break no idols.’
‘You know I do not mean that, and you know, too, how incapable I am of
defending myself in argument. I never can stand up for anything I say.
I can now and then say something, but, when I have said it, I run away.’
‘My dearest Clara,’ Madge put her arm over her sister’s shoulder as they
sat side by side, ‘do not run away now; tell me just what you think of
me.’
Clara was silent for a minute.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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