Is my purpose altered? Is my tenor broken? Not a whit of either.
Rather are they stronger set and better led, as my heart and brain
enlarge. Yet I see beyond it all, a thing I never used to see, a glow
above the peaks of hate, a possibility of home. "Saw" I should have
said, for now what have I to do with seeing?
On the fourteenth morning, I had given up all hope. They told me it was
bright and sunny; for I always asked about the weather, and felt most
cruelly depressed upon a sunny day. By this time I had learned to dress
without Mrs. Shelfer’s aid. Still, from force of habit I went to the
glass to do my hair, and still drew back, as far as was allowed, the
window curtain.
Off with my wet bandage, I am sick of it; let me try no longer to delude
myself.
Suddenly a gleam of light, I am sure of it; faint indeed, and like a
Will of the Wisp; but I am quite sure it was a gleam of light. I go
nearer the window and try again. No, there is no more for the present,
it was the sudden change produced it. Never mind; I know what I have
seen, a thing that came and cheated me in dreams; this time it has not
cheated me; it was a genuine twinkle of the sun.
I can do nothing more. I cannot put another stitch upon me. I am
thrilling with the sun, like Memnon. I fall upon my knees, and thank
the Father of light.
When the Doctor came that day, and looked into my eyes, he saw a decided
change.
"Miss Valence, the crisis is over. With all my heart I congratulate
you. Another fortnight, and you will see better than ever."
I laughed, and wept, and, blind as I was, could hardly keep from
dancing. Then I wanted to kiss the Doctor, but hearing Mrs. Shelfer’s
step, made a reckless jump and had it out upon her.
"Bless me, why bless me, my good soul, if I was a young gentleman now--"
"Why, Miss Valence, I am perfectly astonished," said Doctor Franks, but
I knew he was laughing; "if I had been requested, only two minutes ago,
to pick out the most self-possessed, equable, and courageous young lady
in London, I should have said, ’I don’t want any looking, I know where
to find her,’ but now, upon my word--"
"If you are asked to point out the most delighted, grateful, and happy
girl in London, you know where to come for her. Let me kiss you, Dr.
Franks, only once. I won’t rob your daughters. It is to you I owe it
all."
"No, to Providence, and yourself, and an uncommonly good conjunctiva.
Now be prudent, my dear child; a little ecstasy must be forgiven; but
don’t imperil your cure by over-excitement. It is, as I hoped it would
be, a case of epiphytic sloughing" (I think that was what he said), "and
it may become chronic if precipitated. The longer and more thorough the
process, the less chance of recurrence."
"Oh I am satisfied with one eye, or half an eye. Can you promise me
that?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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