"Why a nasty stinking hussy, that would steal the feathers out of my best bed again, the same as they did before. My very best bed, Miss Idols, as dear Miss Minto left me by her will, not a better bed in London, unless it’s the Queen’s, and so I used to tell her when I helped to shake it up. My mouth watered over it so, that she said one day, and the knife-boy heard her on the stairs, ’Patty, you’ve been a good girl to me, and you deserves it, and you shall have it, when I am tucked up for good and all.’ And so I did, very honourable, and all above board. Yes, yes; I had a commercial gent one time, a wonderful heavy man to be sure, and he stayed with me three year for the sake of that same bed. And he knew what beds was, and no mistake. It was bootiful to see when he was a getting up. It began to rise up, up, the same as Tom’s back, when he see your dog, Miss Idols." "Come, Mrs. Shelfer, I fear we can hardly wait." "’Twas like dough put afore the fire, Miss. There’s no such Dantzic now. You couldn’t put your fist into one side of it, but out it would come the other. Oh Lor, I could cry; that nasty sly minx, she was softer than parsnips, you’d say, and one leg more than the other. I couldn’t think why it was she would always make her own bed. ’Thank you, Mrs. Shelfer’--with her lips sucked in like a button-hole--’thank you, you are too kind. It doesn’t at all fatigue me, and my doctor pronounces the exercise good for my chest and arms.’ Thank God, she got some exercise good for her legs as well. Six months on the treadmill. Charley got me an order, and it did my heart good to see her. But my twenty pounds of best feathers never came back again, and that wasn’t the worst of it neither." "Oh dear no," says Idols, "the worst of it was the sin, Mrs. Shelfer." "The worst of it was that she stuffed it with sawdust, and oakum, and jovanna, I do believe, by the smell of it." "What do you mean, Mrs. Shelfer?" "Lor, Miss Valence, don’t you know jovanna that the kingfishers lays on the top of the sea, and the gardeners make water with it?" "And what did she do with your feathers?" "Sneaked them out of the house in the crown of her bonnet, and sold them at eightpence a pound, and they worth three and sixpence, every flue of them. But the rag and bottleman got two months, thank God for it. Ah, it will never be a bed again under 5*l.* at least." "Is it the one I sleep on, Mrs. Shelfer?" "Yes, my good friend, the very same." "And you have put me to sleep on guano! Well, I thought it smelt very odd."