There were few things, among the many desired by Mrs. Daldy, which she
failed to reconcile with her strong sense of religion. "There is not
one"--I have heard her say--"not one of the things we believe to be for
our good, which we should scruple to lay before the Throne of Grace.
Even the throbbings of that little unregenerate heart"--Clara Vaughan’s
to wit, who had kicked her that morning, quite by accident of
course--"even they are known and sifted there"--slight confusion of
metaphor caused by strong conviction of sin--"Infinite mercy knows the
things that be for our edification, and confirmation in the faith. Yes,
backsliding sinner, the want of real heart-felt spiritual life can be
supplied by prayer alone. Is it not so in your experience, Elder?"
"Prayer, my dear Madam, and searching of the heart. Oh the depth of the
wickedness of the unconverted heart!" And he took another glass of
sherry. That night I remember she worked very hard, for her; and the
next day she presented me with markers the size of a gallows, progged
with many holes; on one was done in cross-stitch, "Pray without
ceasing," and upon the other "Wrestle thou in prayer. Gen. xxxii. 24."
Both of these I threw into the fire there before her eyes.
From this it will be clear, that in her devotions she still remembered
me, and doubtless prayed in good Scriptural phraseology for my release
from this wicked world. Dr. Churchyard’s last report had raised her
terror to the highest pitch, and instead of wrestling in prayer, she had
run away in high panic, upon hearing that the fever-nurse was seen at
large the night before. "We must use the means of grace," she said to
Mrs. Fletcher, before she locked her in, "and accept the mercies
vouchsafed to us. And it would be sinful, dear Mrs. Fletcher, in me to
neglect such a warning as this."
It was wise, as well as righteous, in her to keep aloof for a time,
while her devices worked their consummation. For the present it appeared
to me that they were failing signally. My uncle was regaining strength
of mind and body; while native air, a sense of triumph, and daily
exercise, kept me in blooming health. My patient, who otherwise could
hardly bear me to leave him for an hour, insisted upon my taking a long
ride every day. Lilla was charmed, and so was I, with the sweet spring
air, and the rich familiar scenery. And how it did make me eat!
Thankful indeed I ought to be, and am, that it pleased God to spare me
that awful and deadly pestilence. But the worst injury done by canting
hypocrites is, that the repulsion they create drives away others from
good. Truly I may say, that for days after being in contact with that
slimy sanctity, I could not say my own prayers, as a little child should
do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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