"Come, come, Mr. Shelfer, I fear you cultivate them for their flavour.
There are ten times as many of them, I see, as of peaches on the trees.
And you charge me every week five shillings for tobacco."
"To be sure, Miss Clara. Shows a fine constitooshun, you know. And
dreadful hard work it is to have to smoke so much, you know. And then
the sun will come on the wall, and only a quart of beer allowed all the
afternoon. And sometimes they makes me go for it myself, you know!
Indeed they does, Miss, they has such cheek here in Gloucestershire!"
Patty brought all her sticks of course, in spite of the twenty-five
bills of sale, which by this time had grown upon them. One whole
roomful was packed in the duplicate inventories. The law on this
subject she contemplated from a peculiar point of view.
"Lor, Miss, I never grudges ’em. They do cost a bit at the time; but
see how safe they makes them. If it wasn’t for them I should be
frightened out of my wits of thieves, down here where the trees and all
the green grocery is, worse than the Regency Park. Bless me, I never
should have gone out of doors, Miss, if you hadn’t pulled me. And to
see the flowers here all a-growing with their heads up as bootiful as a
bonnet. Pray, my good friend, is that what they was made for, if I may
be so bold?"
"No, Patty, not for bonnets. They were made for the bees and the
butterflies, and for us to enjoy them, while they enjoy themselves."
"Well, I never. Pray, Miss, did I tell you Uncle John’s come home, and
they only ate a piece of his shoulder for they found his belt was
tenderer; and he put the glazing on it the same as they wears on their
hats, and three cork pins to hold it, and he find it werry convenient,
it save so much rheumatism: and he’ll be here next week to convict the
man that made his wife swallow the tea-pot. Dear, dear, what things
they does do in the country. Not a bit like Christians. And so, Miss
Clara, the old man won’t drop off after all; and Uncle John a-coming,
how nice it would have been."
The old man was poor Whitehead, whose lodge Mrs. Shelfer coveted, as it
was larger and livelier than her own.
"No, Mrs. Shelfer, I think he will get over it. Surely you would not
wish to hurry him."
"To be sure, my good friend; no, no: let him have his time, I say. But
he would have had it long ago, if he had any reason in him. What good
can he do now, holding on with his eyebrows? Please God to let him go
in peace; and so much happier for us all."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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