French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
As I was quitting the booth, I saw my acquaintance, the friend of the
people, enter. This grave moralist, who seemed to shun me, hastened to
set the bad example of culpable curiosity. His long spine, bent in a
semi-circle, shook with emotion; then, being unable to get nearer, he
kissed the magic glass.
I descended the three plank steps of the platform; I found myself again
in the crowd, decided to seek the girl who loved me now that I knew her
smile.
The lamps smoked, the tumult was increasing, the people pushed along
with such reckless haste that they nearly overturned the booths. The
fête was at that hour of ideal joy in which, in order to be happy, one
risks being suffocated.
On straightening myself up, I had before me a horizon of linen caps and
silk hats. I advanced, pushing the men, cautiously getting around the
great skirts of the women. Perhaps the girl who loved me was wrapped in
that pink cloak; perhaps her head was beneath that tulle hood ornamented
with mauve ribbons; perhaps she wore that delicious straw hat with an
ostrich feather in it. Alas! the owner of the cloak was sixty; the hood,
which concealed an abominably ugly face, leaned lovingly upon the
shoulder of a sapper; she who wore the hat was laughing heartily,
opening widely the most beautiful eyes in the world--but I did not
recognize those beautiful eyes.
Brothers, above crowds hover I know not what anguish and what sorrow, as
if the multitude had sent up a breath of terror and pity. Never do I
find myself amid a great assemblage of people without experiencing a
vague uneasiness. It seems to me that some frightful misfortune menaces
these assembled men, that a single flash of lightning will suffice, amid
the excitement of their gestures and voices, to strike them with
motionlessness, with eternal silence.
Little by little, I decreased my pace, looking at this joy which wounded
me. At the foot of a tree, in the full yellow light of the lamps, an old
beggar was standing, his body stiffened, horribly twisted by paralysis.
He lifted towards the passers-by his pale face, winking his eyes in a
lamentable fashion the better to excite pity. He gave to his limbs
sudden quivers of fever which shook him like a withered branch. The
young girls, fresh and blushing, passed laughingly before this hideous
spectacle.
Further away, at the door of an inn, two workmen were fighting. In the
struggle, the glasses had been overturned, and to see the wine flowing
over the pavement one might have thought it blood from great wounds.
The laughter seemed to me to be changed into sobs, the lights became a
vast conflagration, the crowd whirled as if stricken with terror. I
walked on, with a feeling of horrible sadness at my heart, staring at
the faces of the young girls but never finding the person who loved me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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