French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Yesterday, when night came on, Marie's chamber was filled with gloom and
silence. A candle, half hidden behind a vase on the mantelpiece, lighted
a corner of the ceiling; the walls and the floor were in darkness; the
bed was white amid the transparent shadows. Marie, paler, more broken,
had closed her eyes. I knew that she could not last through the night.
Pâquerette was asleep in her arm-chair, her hands crossed in her lap,
smiling in a dream at some imaginary gluttony; her chin resting on her
corsage, she was snoring softly, and the sound of her breath mingled
with the weakened rattle in Marie's throat. I felt myself suffocating
between this dying young girl and this old woman gorged with food. I
hastened to the window. I opened it. The weather was clear.
I leaned my elbows upon the sill, and gazed at the square patch of
yellow light on the wall opposite. The stains came and went with
rapidity, fading away to re-appear of greater dimensions than before.
Never had the shadows been so nimble, so ironical; they seemed to be
indulging with delight in a jeering dance, in an inexplicable confusion
of shapes, wishing to entirely overthrow my reason. It was an
indescribable pell-mell, a mass of heads, necks and shoulders, which
rolled upon itself as if beaten and flattened by the strokes of a flail.
Then, suddenly, at the very instant when I was smiling bitterly, no
longer seeking to understand, supreme quietness settled down upon the
sombre and agile shadows; the stains gave a final leap, two profiles
were thrown upon the wall, enormous, full of energy, standing out with
sharpness and vigor. It seemed as if, weary of tormenting me, the
shadows had at last decided to reveal themselves; they were there,
black, powerful, full of superb truth and insolence. I recognized
Laurence and Jacques, out of all proportion, disdainful. The two
profiles approached each other slowly and united with a kiss.
I had not ceased to smile. I felt in myself a sort of tearing sensation,
followed by a sudden feeling of satisfaction. My heart, with an enormous
pulsation, had driven out all the love which was stifling it, and that
love had gone out through my veins, giving me a final burn. I felt that
sensation of anguish which the patient experiences beneath the hands of
the surgeon: I suffered in order that I might cease to suffer.
At last, the shadows had spoken, they had given me a certainty. I had
the truth written there, before me, upon the wall; I knew that which I
had sought to guess for so many long days; I stared fixedly at those two
black heads, which were kissing in the square patch of yellow light.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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