French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
"Listen, Claude," said she; "I will get up to-morrow, I will put on a
white dress and we will leave this house. You will find a little chamber
in which we will shut ourselves up all alone. I plainly see that Jacques
loves me no more, because I am too weak, too white. You have a kind
heart; you will take good care of me and I will live with more
happiness, more gayety, than ever before. I am a trifle weary, I have
need of a kind brother. Will you be that brother, Claude?"
These words, uttered with languishing tenderness, were horrible in the
mouth of the dying girl. She preserved her innocent shamelessness even
in the arms of death; she offered herself upon her dying bed as a sister
and a sweetheart of ten years of age. I supported her poor body as if
its flesh had been sacred, I listened to her ardent and low voice with a
holy compassion.
I thought, no longer being able to pray. What then is evil? Was I not in
the presence of absolute good? Surely, God created everything sinless,
everything perfect. Evil is one of our inventions, one of the wounds
with which we are covered by reason of our own iniquity. This child who
was dying was no more disturbed, in life, by the kisses she had given
her admirers than a little girl is disturbed by the caresses which she
gives her doll. And Laurence, sad and desolate Laurence, showed such
degradation that her shamelessness was no more than the tacit acceptance
of a purely material act. Where shall we find the evil in all this, and
who would dare to punish Laurence and Marie, the one for her
brutishness, the other for her ignorance? The heart had fallen asleep,
or had not yet been awakened. It could not be the accomplice of the
flesh, which itself remained innocent in its silence. If I had had to
condemn these two women, I would have had more tears than severity, I
would have desired for them death, supreme peace.
They ought to sleep very soundly in their tombs, these poor creatures
who have lived amid tumult and feverish gayety. Perhaps, nevertheless,
their hearts will love at last in death, suffering frightfully at the
thought of a life passed in loving without love; they would struggle
now, but they are nailed in their coffin. Marie was departing, white and
pure, astonished, quivering, realizing, perhaps, that she was dying
before having known life. I wished that she could take with her Laurence
who had no more to learn, having exhausted every pleasure. They would
both descend into the unknown with the same step, equally soiled,
equally innocent, daughters of God bruised by men.
I was supporting Marie's head, which was weighed down with agony.
"Where is Jacques?" she asked.
"Jacques," I replied, "is with Laurence. They have abandoned us; we are
alone."
"Alone! Has Laurence left you, Claude?"
"Yes. She has left me. We are alone."
She gently rubbed her hands one against the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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