French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Then, suddenly, Laurence's heart changed its language. It spoke of the
future, and I understood it. It beat distinctly, talking more rapidly,
with more violence, more irony. It said that it was going to the gutter
and that it was in haste to arrive there. Laurence would quit me on the
morrow, she would resume her life of chance; she would belong to the
crowd, she would descend the few steps which yet separated her from the
bottom of the sewer. Then, she would be a brute, she would no longer
feel anything, and she would declare herself perfectly happy and
contented. She would die some night upon the sidewalk, drunken and worn
out. The heart told me that the body would go to the dissecting-room,
and that the physicians would cut it to pieces to discover what bitter
and nauseous things it contained. At these accursed words, I saw
Laurence turned blue, dragged through the mud, covered with infamous
stains, stretched out, cold and stiff, upon the white marble slab of the
dissecting-table. The physicians were plunging sharp knives into the
bosom of her I loved so much as to be ready to lay down my life for her,
into the breast of the woman whom I held in my arms with the clutch of
desperation.
The vision enlarged its scope; the chamber became filled with phantoms.
A world of dissipation passed before me in a long, desolate procession.
Life, with all its horrors and shames, presented itself to my eyes in a
succession of frightful pictures. All the wretchedness of humanity arose
before me, draped in silk, covered with rags, young and beautiful, old
and bony. The parade of these men and these women, going to destruction,
lasted a long while and filled me with terror.
The heart beat, beat. It said to me now, in anger:
"I came from the darkness of sin and shall return to it. You love me,
but I shall never love you, for I am a dead heart and utterly worthless.
You have striven vainly to make yourself infamous; you wish to descend
to the mud, but the mud cannot ascend to you. You interrogate the
silence, you endeavor to obtain light from darkness; you are trying to
resuscitate an unknown corpse, which you would do better to carry
immediately to the dissecting-table!"
I knew nothing further. The heart ceased to beat audibly, the burning
wick of the candle was extinguished amid a flood of tallow. I remained
leaning upon Laurence's bosom, fancying myself in the depths of some
great black cavern, damp and deserted.
I still heard the rattle in Marie's throat.
CHAPTER XXIII
PRACTICAL ADVICE
This morning, on awaking, I had in me a glimmer of dolorous hope.
The window had remained open, and I was as cold as ice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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