Why busy thy foul self with wars? Why attempt battle on the bloody field? ’Tis to the arts of that other Minerva thou shouldst apply thyself. The distaff, not the dart should be thine; thine to spin the thread, and, cunning craftsman that thou art, to urge on the spinning-maids when lazy; thine to wind the snowy wool for thy mistress’ weaving. Or, wouldst thou be a devotee, let Cybele, not Mars, be the object of thy worship. Learn to imitate the madness of the Corybantes to the accompaniment of rolling drums. Thou mayest carry cymbals, pierce thy breast with the sacred pine, and with Phrygian knife destroy what yet is left of thy virility. Leave arms to men. Why seek to divide the two empires and embroil loving brothers in strife? Madman, remember thy former trade; ’twere more fitting thou shouldst endeavour to reconcile them. It is for deeds like this that Eutropius demands * * * * * Page 160 flagitet Eutropius, ne quid non polluat unus, 285 dux acies, iudex praetoria, tempora consul! Nil adeo foedum, quod non exacta vetustas ediderit longique labor commiserit aevi. Oedipodes matrem, natam duxisse Thyestes cantatur, peperit fratres Iocasta marito 290 et Pelopea sibi. Thebas ac funera Troiae tristis Erechthei deplorat scaena theatri. in volucrem Tereus, Cadmus se vertit in anguem. Scylla novos mirata canes. hunc arbore figit, elevat hunc pluma, squamis hunc fabula vestit, 295 hunc solvit fluvio. numquam spado consul in orbe nec iudex ductorve fuit! quodcumque virorum est decus, eunuchi scelus est. exempla creantur quae socci superent risus luctusque cothurni. Quam pulcher conspectus erat, cum tenderet artus exangues onerante toga cinctuque gravatus 301 indutoque senex obscaenior iret in auro: humani qualis simulator simius oris, quem puer adridens pretioso stamine Serum velavit nudasque nates ac terga reliquit, 305 ludibrium mensis; erecto pectore dives ambulat et claro sese deformat amictu. candida pollutos comitatur curia fasces, forsitan et dominus. praebet miracula lictor * * * * * Page 161 this year of office, to ensure that by his efforts alone he leaves nothing not dishonoured, ruining the army as its general, the courts as their judge, the imperial fasti as a consul.