Produced by Bryan Ness, Annie McGuire and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/Canadian Libraries) [Illustration: Book Cover] [Illustration: Frontispiece] _Cobb's Bill-of-Fare_ _By_ _Irvin S. Cobb_ _Author of_ "_The Escape of Mr. Trimm_," "_Back Home_," "_Cobb's Anatomy_," _etc._ _Illustrated by_ _Peter Newell and James Preston_ [Illustration] _New York_ _George H. Doran Company_ COPYRIGHT, 1911 1912, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY COPYRIGHT, 1913, BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY TO R. H. DAVIS (NOT RICHARD HARDING-- THE OTHER ONE) _AS FOLLOWS_ PAGE I. VITTLES 13 II. MUSIC 47 III. ART 81 IV. SPORT 113 _ILLUSTRATIONS_ PAGE "I now greatly desire to eat some regular food." 15 "Those who in the goodness of their hearts may undertake a search for the sucking pig." 35 "Where do you find the percentage of dyspeptics running highest?" 41 "She tries to tear all its front teeth out with her bare hands." 51 "Ro-hocked in the cra-hadle of the da-heep, I la-hay me down in pe-heace to sa-leep!" 57 "Shem undoubtedly sang it when the animals were hungry." 61 "And I enjoy it more than words can tell!" 67 "We looked in vain for the kind of pictures that mother used to make and father used to buy." 83 "The inscrutable smile of a saleslady would make Mona Lisa seem a mere amateur." 93 "A person who for reasons best known to the police has not been locked up." 97 "Collision between two heavenly bodies or premature explosion of a custard pie." 103 "Everything you catch is second-hand." 119 "He could beat me climbing, but at panting I had him licked to a whisper." 125 "She was not much larger than a soapdish." 137 "Think of being laid face downward firmly across a sinewy knee and beaten forty-love with one of those hard catgut rackets!" 143 _VITTLES_ [Illustration] Upon a certain gladsome occasion a certain man went into a certain restaurant in a certain large city, being imbued with the idea that he desired a certain kind of food. Expense was with him no object. The coming of the holidays had turned his thoughts backward to the care-free days of boyhood and he longed for the holidaying provender of his youth with a longing that was as wide as a river and as deep as a well.