Cobb's Bill-of-FareCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Cobb's Bill-of-Fare
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Essays; Wit and humor
There you have the whole thing, you see, simply, dispassionately and
quietly presented. Most of us have seen newspaper reproductions of the
best examples of the Futurists' school. As well as a body can judge from
these reproductions, a Futurist's method of execution must be
comparatively simple. After looking at his picture, you would say that
he first put on a woolly overcoat and a pair of overshoes; that he then
poured a mixture of hearth paint, tomato catsup, liquid bluing, burnt
cork, English mustard, Easter dyes and the yolks of a dozen eggs over
himself, seasoning to taste with red peppers. Then he spread a large
tarpaulin on the floor and lay down on it and had an epileptic fit, the
result being a picture which he labeled Revolt, or Collision Between Two
Heavenly Bodies, or Premature Explosion of a Custard Pie, or something
else equally appropriate. The Futurists ought to make quite a number of
converts in this country, especially among those advanced lovers of art
who are beginning to realize that the old impressionistic school lacked
emphasis and individuality in its work. But I expect to stand firm, and
when everybody else nearly is a Futurist and is tearing down Sargent's
pictures and Abbey's and Whistler's to make room for immortal Young
Messers, I and a few others will still be holding out resolutely to the
end.
At such times as these I fain would send my thoughts back longingly to
an artist who flourished in the town where I was born and brought up. He
was practically the only artist we had, but he was versatile in the
extreme. He was several kinds of a painter rolled into one--house, sign,
portrait, landscape, marine and wagon. In his lighter hours, when
building operations were dull, he specialized in oil paintings of life
and motion--mainly pictures of horse races and steamboat races. When he
painted a horse race, the horses were always shown running neck and neck
with their mouths wide open and their eyes gleaming; and their nostrils
were widely extended and painted a deep crimson, and their legs were
neatly arranged just so, and not scrambled together in any old fashion,
as seems to be the case with the legs of the horses that are being
painted nowadays. And when he painted a steamboat race it would always
be the Natchez and the Robert E. Lee coming down the river abreast in
the middle of the night, with the darkies dancing on the lower decks and
heavy black smoke rolling out of the smokestacks in four distinct
columns--one column to each smokestack--and showers of sparks belching
up into the vault of night.
There was action for you--action and attention to detail. With this
man's paintings you could tell a horse from a steamboat at a glance. He
was nothing of an impressionist; he never put smokestacks on the
horse nor legs on the steamboat. And his work gave general satisfaction
throughout that community.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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