"Thank you," replied the unconscious beast; "I alone am responsible for the time of my arrival, and I alone will determine the degree of celerity required. The gait I am going will enable me to keep all my present appointments." A genial warmth began about this time to pervade his upper crust, and a moment after he was dashing away at a pace comparatively tremendous. "How about those engagements?" sneered the grinning urchin. "I've recollected another one," was the hasty reply. LIX. Having fastened his gaze upon a sparrow, a rattlesnake sprung open his spanning jaws, and invited her to enter. "I should be most happy," said the bird, not daring to betray her helpless condition, but anxious by any subterfuge to get the serpent to remove his fascinating regard, "but I am lost in contemplation of yonder green sunset, from which I am unable to look away for more than a minute. I shall turn to it presently." "Do, by all means," said the serpent, with a touch of irony in his voice. "There is nothing so improving as a good, square, green sunset." "Did you happen to observe that man standing behind you with a club?" continued the sparrow. "Handsome fellow! Fifteen cubits high, with seven heads, and very singularly attired; quite a spectacle in his way." "I don't seem to care much for men," said the snake. "Every way inferior to serpents--except in malice." "But he is accompanied by a _really interesting_ child," persisted the bird, desperately. The rattlesnake reflected deeply. He soliloquized as follows: "There is a mere chance--say about one chance to ten thousand million--that this songster is speaking the truth. One chance in ten thousand million of seeing a really interesting child is worth the sacrifice demanded; I'll make it." So saying, he removed his glittering eyes from the bird (who immediately took wing) and looked behind him. It is needless to say there was no really interesting child there--nor anywhere else. MORAL.--Mendacity (so called from the inventors) is a very poor sort of dacity; but it will serve your purpose if you draw it sufficiently strong. LX. A man who was very much annoyed by the incursions of a lean ass belonging to his neighbour, resolved to compass the destruction of the invader. "Now," said he, "if this animal shall choose to starve himself to death in the midst of plenty, the law will not hold _me_ guilty of his blood. I have read of a trick which I think will 'fix' him." So he took two bales of his best hay, and placed them in a distant field, about forty cubits apart. By means of a little salt he then enticed the ass in, and coaxed him between the bundles. "There, fiend!" said he, with a diabolic grin, as he walked away delighted with the success of his stratagem, "now hesitate which bundle of hay to attack first, until you starve--monster!"