Is this a necessity, a condition peculiar to me as I am, as reason, or
is it a condition that came across the barrier with me from that other
state? It must be the latter. An entity of pure reason, having come into
existence as reason, would need nothing but himself. Why? Because he
would be _without emotion_.
"I am _emotional_," I thought. "I am entity of almost pure reason, but I
have inherited emotion from my previous state. It is a disorder of
thought, but it can be a pleasant disorder when the emotion is the right
one; or, if unpleasant, when satisfied.
"But I could not have emotions as I am now. They are _cortical
responses_, or are supposed to be. What is _cortical_? No, they are a
sort of illogical reasoning, nothing physical--" The rest eluded me.
"I am lonely," I thought. "Loneliness stems from fear and fear is a
basic emotion. I am very lonely. I have been lonely for a long time,
bringing it with me here. I would rather sate my loneliness than live to
eternity, than know all there is to know. What can quell my loneliness?
Another like me, another _Marl_--whatever a _Marl_ is. I must have, must
find another _Marl_."
I began to search. I darted frantically about space like a frightened
thing, though I could perceive no movement. I knew I passed from one
area of space to another because I could measure slight changes in the
position of the stars about me. I knew the points of light were _stars_.
There was duration. I could not know how much. Eternity? A split second?
But at last I discovered another like me. No, almost like me, but
another _Marl_. The other entity had less of reason, more emotion. It
was frightened and lonely. The _Marl's_ whole existence was that of
sickness--of loneliness, which is fear. The _Marl_ was darting about
madly, seeking, seeking a thing like itself. What was it, like me but
different?
As I came in, I measured our similarity and differences. Rationally we
were identical, or almost so. Emotionally we were different, vastly
different. "_Marls_ appear to exist as rationale and emotion," I
reasoned. "Beyond that I cannot go."
The other _Marl_ perceived me, darted frantically toward me, then
slowed. We came together, touched like--_like two cautious fish meeting
in a dark pool and touching mouths to substantiate identical species_.
The other _Marl_ was satisfied with my identity. It leaped frantically
at me, raced around me, through me, finally stopped, pervading me, while
_vibrating_ in sheer relief and happiness. I felt the great
fear-loneliness in the other _Marl_ begin to recede and in its place
came an almost overpowering euphoria. It was _contentment_, and it
stemmed from the basic emotion _love_. I knew this at once.
I suddenly realized that I too was relieved, that I was no longer sick
with fear-loneliness. It was good, this existing of the other within me
or simultaneously with me. Or was it I within the other? It sated our
fear emotion and made, created a love-euphoria.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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