England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
As he passed he saw that the chapel was lit within. The east window was
of plain ruby-coloured glass, frosted on the outside so that none could
see in, and he lingered there a moment, and thought he caught the sound
of a voice within. Douglas, his chaplain and librarian, was there, and
perhaps Vincenzo, who had driven down from London with his master, was
there also in his more ecclesiastical capacity. The shrewd, monkey-faced
boy of twelve years ago, had grown into a dark-faced silent man,
wonderfully efficient as a servant. But as a server.... Colin had never
seen anything so like possession: the ape-like gestures twitching and
vehement, the rapt surrender, the tearing animal passion of devotion.
And when the rite was over, he lay sometimes on the altar step, panting
with gleaming eyes of a surfeited ecstasy. Then the mask of humanity
covered him again, and he became the impassive watchful valet,
anticipating Colin’s wants almost before he was conscious of them
himself. But these seizures (for they were really nothing less than
that) were terrible. Colin wondered sometimes if he himself would ever
know such physical frenzy, such mingling apparently of torture and
exaltation.
He passed on round the corner of the yew-hedge: he was late for whatever
was going on, and indeed he had no particular mind to be present. But he
felt as if some force like that of a great engine that beat in
pulsations momently increasing in power was at work there. Then the bell
in the turret sounded three strokes, and, in the pause that followed
before those strokes were repeated, he felt himself thrilled and charged
with the mysterious dynamic energy that spread through the still air in
invisible waves of inspiration, and into his mind there came the vision
of himself kneeling there at some such moment as this with Dennis by
him. That, of course, would not be yet: the boy was at present far too
young to understand even the nature of the moral choice on which the
rites were based. Not yet did he know the force of love and hate; he
only liked and disliked. He had to feel the power of love, before he
could loathe it or comprehend the infinite seduction of evil. The
essential qualities of love had to be apprehended before they could be
rejected and mocked at. He must know them first, he must know too what
hate meant, before he could realize the presence of its inspirer. That,
and the things which some day Dennis would see with his father in the
chapel there, would be inexplicable and indeed meaningless to him until
in his blood there was developed the perception that gave them life.
Certain of these rites would seem to him merely grotesque or disgusting
till he was hot with the passions of which they were a symbol. He would
be puzzled: he might even be amused at these grimaces and contortions of
Vincenzo. He would want explanations, and even then would not
understand....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account