England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
He stood in his room, the door of which he had not even closed, looking
at the sapphire that blazed in his hand. That azure fire bade him go
back to Dennis now, and, conquering this despicable softness in himself,
tell him, with all the gusto of a splendid surprise (and he knew that a
tongue of skill and persuasion would be given him), that the legend was
alive to-day, that a power, mightier than the kings of the earth, was
alert and eager to befriend him, at so cheap a cost, for the price was
no more than that he should root out of his heart the sickly and
sentimental stuff, the injurious weakness called love which saps the
strength of a man and enslaves him to others. That was all that was
meant by the bargain and the signing of the soul away. That was the true
and the sensible way to look at it; and those who talked of it as being
a consignment to the outer darkness and eternal damnation, were merely
trying to frighten people by hoisting bogies.... Dennis would not
understand, but that wonderful and impressionable thing, a boy’s memory,
would retain letter and form of it, till bit by bit he began to
understand it, and then, from its having dwelt long in his mind, it
would appear familiar and friendly. Dennis would already be half asleep,
and his father would just sit and talk to him a minute or two, quietly
and affectionately, sowing seed, and smoothing the rich fruitful earth
of the boy’s mind over it....
He moved towards the door, opened it and went into the passage. And
then, as his hand was on the latch of Dennis’s door, he knew that even
if he went in, with his intention hot within him, his expedition would
be in vain. Dennis would sit up in bed, sleepily smiling, and welcoming
the intrusion, on any or no excuse, so long as the intruder was he. Once
more he would be disarmed by the defenceless.
The change that had to be wrought must begin with himself. There was no
doubt that he had allowed himself to get fond of the boy, and for that
reason he winced at the thought of the first incision. He must anneal
himself to the gay ruthlessness with which he dealt with others, with
which he had mocked Pamela to her doom, and jeered at his brother
Raymond struggling with the broken lids of ice, before he attempted to
deal with Dennis again. If only the boy was not so affectionate, how
easy it would be! He had thought of Dennis’s affection for him as a
weapon in his own hand, but at present it was a weapon in Dennis’s.
Perhaps he would have to snap that, or, wresting it from him, turn it
against him. At any rate he must anneal himself: he must weld the armour
of hate against love....
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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