England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
Smarting of skin, but far sorer at heart, Dennis walked quietly off when
he had dressed, and skirting the lake went up along the bracken-covered
slopes of the park that looked out over the marsh. He longed to confide
in his mother, and ask if she could account in any way for this
Pentecost of trouble which the holidays had brought, and which had
culminated in this thrashing, but in spite of the comfort she might have
brought from the mere knowledge of her sympathy, he could not tell her
of that, not because it was a humiliation to him, but because it was a
disgrace to his father, and that must never be known to her. The offence
which provoked it was no cause at all; in the Easter holidays he might
have done that until seventy times seven, and his father would only have
laughed, and called him a little devil, and thrown the missile back at
him. And the same policy of repression must be preserved about his other
woes. In whatever manner his father treated him, that was an affair that
concerned themselves alone: mere manliness forbade him to go whimpering
to anybody, and more stringent yet was the prohibition that his own love
for his father enjoined on him. It was impossible to complain: he had
got to shoulder his own burden whatever injustice and harshness had laid
it on him.
He waded through the waist-high bracken with the scuttle of rabbits
about him. There were patches of bare turf between the clumps of fern;
it was great sport to walk through the bracken with a gun, and get a
pot-shot at a rabbit that bolted across these clearings. Often had he
done that with his father, but to-day he had not the least inclination
to fetch his gun. He wanted only, since speaking to his mother was out
of the question, to be alone, and stare this intolerable state of
affairs in the face, and he sat down in one of these open spaces, with
the aromatic smell of the woodland round him, and tried to focus it. He
smarted with the blows he had received and with the utter injustice of
them, but most of all his heart cried out against the virulent glee in
his father’s face, when he told him to turn round again and asked him
how he enjoyed it. If only he was like some other fellows at school who
either disliked or just put up with their fathers, he would merely have
been angry at this abominable treatment, and delighted that the beastly
man was taking himself off to-morrow. But Dennis felt none of these
natural sentiments; in spite of these harshnesses he would rapturously
have gone with his father to Capri, if that had been allowed, unshaken
in the faith (which for a minute or two last night had been so joyfully
justified) that to-day or to-morrow his father would turn to him again,
and be ‘ripping’ as no-one else in the world could be. But his
father--and what had he himself done to evoke this desolating
displeasure?--had altogether changed to him, he disliked him, and he
wanted to hurt him, and finely he succeeded. As the sense of this bitter
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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