England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
Colin threw back his head and laughed. “I was very merry all that month”
... how well he knew the inward glee that this old kinsman of his must
have experienced at the accomplishment of this pleasing design. He had
been in harmony with himself all that month: that was what made him
merry. And of course when the thing was done, it was done, and who, that
was truly alive, cared to dwell on an achievement? He had bitten into
the fruit, and swallowed its mellow flesh, and now there was but the
rind and the stone, which he spat out. There were plenty more such
fruits when he felt thirsty: no need then to mouth the stone and squeeze
out the last drop of juice from the rind. Naked cruelty and the pleasure
of seeing others suffer gave the savour to this and other adventures,
and he described how he had gone to see a recusant tortured on the rack,
till the joints were wrenched from their sockets.... Colin could
understand that too.
He got up out of his chair, stretched himself and strolled to the window
which looked out over the terrace and the lake. There was Aunt Hester
sitting in the shade of the yew-hedge looking like some foolish autumnal
butterfly, and close at hand on the terrace was Dennis in his
perambulator. Some day Colin would read these Memoirs with him and
explain what he did not understand. There would be some years to wait
yet, eleven or twelve perhaps, till Dennis had been a term or two at
school. That kneaded the dough of a boy’s mind: it was ready then to be
moulded: it was soft and pliable and leavened.... Then Violet came out
of the house, she stood close to the window out of which Colin looked.
She did not see him for her eyes were on her son.
“Take him out of his pram, Nurse,” she called, “and see if he can get as
far as me. Dennis! Come to me, Dennis.”
Dennis was lifted out paddling in the air and set down on the terrace.
Again Violet called, and he looked this way and that, unable to
localize the sound, though recognizing his name. Suddenly he saw his
mother, and giving a crow of delight staggered towards her.
Colin forgot about the Memoirs for a moment. There was Violet stooping
down with arms outstretched to the boy, her face all radiant with
motherhood and love, and, at the sight of her, Colin felt that
exasperated impatience which love always provoked in him. It was not for
anything that Dennis could give her, that this beam transfigured her, it
was just because he was Dennis. From her he looked at the child
maintaining that difficult balance, which every moment threatened to
topple, and there, too, in that dimpled laughing face, bright with the
glory of this heroic adventure, there shone the same. That was even more
exasperating to his mind. While a child’s intelligence was as elementary
and undeveloped as this, there was this instinct triumphantly asserting
itself. Love seemed to be as natural as breathing, and far more natural
than walking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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