England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
What a nuisance she was, he thought. Whatever he said to Pamela, she
wanted to be bright and discuss it, and argue and interest him.... It
was his fault also that he had allowed her to come here, and that had
the same effect on him as on Tiberius.
“Yes, that’s quite true. We always are angry with others when we’ve been
mistaken in them or have injured them,” she said.
Colin suddenly registered the fact that he hated her. The knowledge
seemed to spring from no particular source; it was blown to him perhaps
on this evening breeze. In consequence he exerted himself to charm and
attract her, for that was the path that led to the completest outrage
and humiliation for her. He hated her passion for him, and therefore
inflamed it, so that she would pay the more for it.
“I don’t believe you ever wanted to injure anybody,” he said. “You’ve
got the most adorable nature, do you know?”
“My dear, how about compliments?” she asked. “Great friends don’t pay
each other compliments, you told me.”
“Well, I wanted to let you know that I had noticed it. Leave it at
that.... Ah, look; the loveliest light of all is beginning. Just before
sunset sea and sky and land all get inside an opal. The hard wearisome
brilliance of the afternoon fades, and you have ten minutes of pure
fairyland. Everything is unreal and exquisite: you can hardly believe in
the beauty of it. I could almost jump over the cliff myself for the
sheer joy of falling, free and unfettered, through the air. One is too
much anchored when one is on land. Swimming you get some feeling of
being unattached to anything, but think if one was falling, falling
through the air. And what does it matter if there’s death at the end?
One would have had a perfect moment. Fancy being happy, though only for
a few seconds!”
He sat with knees drawn up to his chin, looking outwards over the bright
gulf of air, below which the sea lay blue and unflecked, and he heard
her take a quick breath as she looked at him. Then, turning, he saw the
fire in her eyes so nearly breaking into flame.
“Fairyland!” he said. “And you look a real native of it, Pamela.... My
dear, ‘real native’! It sounds as if I were calling you a Whitstable
oyster. And then, as one fairyland fades--look, it’s going
quickly--another, the fairyland of night, begins. I could sit here, at
least so I believe this moment, all night with you, watching the stars
wheel, and fancying I could hear the rustle of the world as it span
through space, until it came out of the tunnel of the night into morning
again. But you would have to be close by me. I couldn’t do it alone; I
should get self-conscious, and that’s the ruin of magic. My dear, how
bored you would get before sunrise.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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