England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
“Dear friends,” he said, “let us ask ourselves in all humility of heart
how often we are our own true selves. I would fain we were our true
selves oftener. What is it that the Swan of Avon says, ‘To thine own
self be true, and then you will be true to everybody else.’ Truth and
lies! How wholly unlike they are, the one to the other. Let us sing the
hymn ‘The sun is sinking fast’.... Golly, so it is, Pamela and the
antiquarian lecture I meant to give you hasn’t been begun yet. Let’s go
home. And my hair is full of grass-seeds with lying down.”
“Stand still, and I’ll pick them out,” she said. She perceived in his
sun-warmed hair the faint fragrance of the sea, and longed to bury her
face in it.
“No, it doesn’t matter. Perhaps they’ll sprout. I should like to have a
hay-field on my head. I would sit in the hay.... Then, to skip a few
centuries, when the Christians came to the island, they built a little
shrine up here, and erected that bloated statue of the Virgin. I suppose
they thought her image would disinfect the place from its Tiberian
memories. But it doesn’t; it’s Pagan in spite of all their statues.
You’re a Pagan, too, Pamela. That’s why you fit in so well up here.”
“Yes, I’ve never believed in anything,” said she. “How can one believe
in anything one doesn’t know of? I believe in what I see, and hear, and
touch and feel. I know of nothing else but these things. I’m a flame
that throws a little light round itself, so that it perceives. And then
it’s blown out. All the more reason for making the most of it, while
it’s alight.”
They had begun the downward descent of the steep path, too narrow for
two to walk abreast. Colin, just behind her, found his muscles twitching
with intolerance of her shallowness.
“Then you don’t fear death?” he asked.
“Of course not. As long as things are pleasant, and I don’t have
toothache or cancer, I don’t want to die. But if I was fearfully unhappy
I shouldn’t think twice about dying. Or if----”
She paused a moment: the path had broadened out, and there was room for
them both.
“Or if----” said he, stepping to her side.
“Or if I was terribly happy,” she said softly. “It would be dull to go
back to ordinary pleasantness after that. To flare up, and go out. Not a
bad fate, Colin. Who wants to gutter away into old age?”
He laughed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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