a wise purpose, and if so, Is not submission my duty? A contest had in
fact been going on in my mind for a long time, between the clear
consciousness of right and the plausible make-shifts of theology and
superstition. The one held me an abject slave—a prisoner for life,
punished for some transgression in which I had no lot nor part; and the
other counseled me to manly endeavor to secure my freedom. This contest
was now ended; my chains were broken, and the victory brought me
unspeakable joy.
But my gladness was short-lived, for I was not yet out of the reach and
power of the slave-holders. I soon found that New York was not quite so
free or so safe a refuge as I had supposed, and a sense of loneliness
and insecurity again oppressed me most sadly. I chanced to meet on the
street, a few hours after my landing, a fugitive slave whom I had once
known well in slavery. The information received from him alarmed me.
The fugitive in question was known in Baltimore as “Allender’s Jake,”
but in New York he wore the more respectable name of “William Dixon.”
Jake, in law, was the property of Doctor Allender, and Tolly Allender,
the son of the doctor, had once made an effort to recapture _Mr.
Dixon_, but had failed for want of evidence to support his claim. Jake
told me the circumstances of this attempt, and how narrowly he escaped
being sent back to slavery and torture. He told me that New York was
then full of Southerners returning from the Northern watering-places;
that the colored people of New York were not to be trusted; that there
were hired men of my own color who would betray me for a few dollars;
that there were hired men ever on the lookout for fugitives; that I
must trust no man with my secret; that I must not think of going either
upon the wharves or into any colored boarding-house, for all such
places were closely watched; that he was himself unable to help me;
and, in fact, he seemed while speaking to me to fear lest I myself
might be a spy and a betrayer. Under this apprehension, as I suppose,
he showed signs of wishing to be rid of me, and with whitewash brush in
hand, in search of work, he soon disappeared.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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