COME INTO MY PARLOR BY CHARLES E. FRITCH ILLUSTRATED BY ORBAN Sober or drunk, Johnny was seeing things. Like spider webs in the night sky. But as a newspaper reporter, Bennet had the job of keeping facts and fancies separate. He was good at that--too good! [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Science Fiction Adventures Magazine, February 1953. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] I found Johnny a few blocks from our hotel in a little bar that was nearly deserted. He was sitting alone at a table in a dark corner, staring morosely at nothing in particular, his hand limp around an almost-empty glass. He seemed perfectly sober, though his eyes stared glassily ahead. I sat down beside him. "What do you say we go back to the hotel, Johnny? Tomorrow's another slave day." His eyes shifted to me and then back to nothing. I wondered if he had actually seen me. "We can talk about it over some coffee and a bit to eat." I suggested, placing my hand on his arm. "Go to hell," he said quietly and shook me loose. He lifted his glass, drained the last few drops. He held the empty glass to the light, then set it down, regretfully. "But first buy me a drink." "You'd better go home," I said. "You've had enough." He laughed harshly. "Look who's giving me orders. I know things about this cock-eyed old world you never had nightmares about, and you're ordering me around! Bossy newspapermen! Go to hell, then; I'll get my own drink." He rose unsteadily and managed his way to the bar. He came back with the glass full. "You still here. I thought I told you--" "You'd better lay off that stuff," I said quietly. "You're not used to it." "Boy, oh boy, you're just full of orders today, aren't you? Charlie Bennet, boy crusader! Well, I've got something you can crusade about. Anything else you'd like?" "That's enough for now." "You're damn right it is. Now get the hell out of here and leave me alone. Can't you see I'm brooding over the fate of the world?" "What are you so mad about?" He looked annoyed, and a little startled. "Brother, if you only knew--" He raised his glass, and then stopped and set it on the table. "Wait a minute. Maybe I ought to tell you. Maybe I ought to let the two of us worry about it, instead of just me. Maybe you should print it in that newspaper of yours." "I'm willing to listen, anyway." "Sure! Why not? I'm just beginning to experience that rosy sensation, that warm feeling of camaraderie they keep stoppered up in bottles. It's the only place on this planet you can find it." "Don't be cynical." "Maybe I should bust out laughing. The whole thing's really funny; it's the funniest thing I've ever heard." "We'd better go." "Sure, let's go. But first--you want to see something really funny? Here."