COX (_putting his head in quickly at L._). Come in--come in! (_Opens door, L. C. Enters with a small tray, on which are tea-things, etc., which he places on drawers, L., and suddenly recollects._) Oh, goodness! my chop! (_running to fireplace_). Holloa--what's that? The bacon again! Oh, pooh! Zounds--confound it--dash it--damn it--I can't stand this! (_Pokes fork into bacon, opens window and flings it out; shuts window again, returns to drawers for tea-things, and encounters BOX coming from his cupboard with his tea-things. They walk down C. of stage together._) Who are you, sir? BOX. If you come to that--who are _you?_ COX. What do you want here, sir? BOX. If you come to that--what do _you_ want? COX (_aside_). It's the printer! (_Puts tea-things on the drawers._) BOX (_aside_). It's the hatter! (_Puts tea-things on table._) COX. Go to your attic, sir-- BOX. _My_ attic, sir? _Your_ attic, sir! COX. Printer, I shall do you a frightful injury if you don't instantly leave my apartment. BOX. _Your_ apartment? You mean _my_ apartment, you contemptible hatter, you! COX. _Your_ apartment? Ha! ha!--come, I like that! Look here, sir. (_Produces a paper out of his pocket._) Mrs. Bouncer's receipt for the last week's rent, sir-- BOX (_produces a paper, and holds it close to COX'S face_). Ditto, sir! COX (_suddenly shouting_). Thieves! BOX. Murder! BOTH. Mrs. Bouncer! (_Each runs to door, L. C., calling._) _MRS. BOUNCER runs in at door, L. C._ MRS. B. What is the matter? (_COX and BOX seize MRS. BOUNCER by the arm and drag her forward._) BOX. Instantly remove that hatter! COX. Immediately turn out that printer! MRS. B. Well, but, gentlemen-- COX. Explain! (_Pulling her round to him._) BOX. Explain! (_Pulling her round to him._) Whose room is this? COX. Yes, woman--whose room is this? BOX. Doesn't it belong to me? MRS. B. No! COX. There! You hear, sir--it belongs to me! MRS. B. No--it belongs to both of you! (_sobbing_). COX _and_ BOX. Both of us? MRS. B. Oh, dear gentlemen, don't be angry--but, you see, this gentleman (_pointing to BOX_) only being at home in the daytime, and that gentleman (_pointing to COX_) at night, I thought I might venture, until my little back second-floor room was ready-- BOX _and_ COX (_eagerly_). When will your little back second-floor room be ready? MRS. B. Why, to-morrow-- COX. I'll take it! BOX. So will I! MRS. B. Excuse me--but if you both take it, you may just as well stop where you are. COX _and_ BOX. True. COX. I spoke first, sir-- BOX. With all my heart, sir. The little back second-floor room is yours, sir--now, go-- COX. Go? Pooh--pooh! MRS. B. Now don't quarrel, gentlemen. You see, there used to be a partition here-- COX _and_ BOX. Then put it up! MRS. B. Nay, I'll see if I can't get the other room ready this very day. Now _do_ keep your tempers. [_Exit L._ COX. What a disgusting position! (_walking rapidly round stage_).